[ The last thing she wants to do is cause any alarm, but she has to know that the older woman is okay. The one bright side to this feature is that itโs just text, and Claire will be unable to detect the strain or anxiety in her thoughts. ]
[ Claire hasn't had anyone reach out to her, personally yet, and so it startles her just a bit to hear her own name. But she sees who it's from and stops what she's doing, sitting back in her chair. ]
Hello, Hilda. I'm doing fine. Is everything alright?
[ She's only heard the faintest whispers of something happening, but it's not much, and so she's only asking in a general way, from being contacted out of the blue. No one ever contacts her out of the blue, even at home, with good news. ]
[ Relief floods her watching Claireโs neat handwriting appear in her vision. Fine is good. Fine meant she was still in one place and safe. Fine meant one less person to potentially worry about, but then again, Hilda isnโt certain when this nightmare will end. ]
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆโ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด โ ๐๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ญ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ. [ Another beat before text flies, unbidden and a little bit accidentally. ] ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐บ๐ญ๐ท๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ.
[ Claire doesn't know Hilda's friends, but the other woman coming t her is enough. She's immediately worried and puts down her pen completely, abandoning her writing. ]
Missing?
[ She'd heard whispers, but nothing like this, nothing that gave her concrete information. ]
When did you last see them? And what can I do?
[ As far as Claire knows, she can't travel freely between cities to help look, which is frustrating. ]
[ She doesnโt respond for a little bit, trying to figure out how to respond to Claireโs second question. She wants to say a hug, but instead she goes with โ ]
[ Damn them not being able to actually go see one another. Yes, there's the Horizon, but it takes time to relax enough to meditate, and she'd rather be with Hilda as soon as possible. ]
Whether or not you've heard from them, let me know by this evening, will you? I don't know what I can do, but at least you won't have to think about it alone.
[She's going to keep her ears open, more than usual, for things that sound like disappearance. Her eyes will follow suit, to be sure she doesn't fall prey to whatever's taking these people. ]
[ A part of her wants to let everything else spill out that she's been feeling but the superstitious part of her worries that if she voices them, they may come true. But with Sam's post about the missing Summoned reports rolling in, it's becoming increasingly more difficult not to worry.
So instead she pushes through though in her usual fashion. ]
[ Alarm bells are starting to ring in her head; something is coming, something is happening, and she can't help but wonder how bad it will be. She always goes to the worst-case scenario so that she can mentally plan what might be needed. In that fashion, she gives Hilda's question thought. ]
๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ. ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด โ [ The words stop short as she hesitates. It's not like they live several streets down from one another. There's no way Hilda can physically check up on Claire short of bothering the woman with messages every day. Maybe that's just what would have to happen. ] ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ง ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ?
[ She's nodding, reaching for what will soon become her ever present notebook over the course of the next several weeks. It all sounds a lot like what they'd have to pack back home, but focusing on something that isn't worry is what she needs right now. ]
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฃ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด. [ Claude normally did most of the shopping since he frequented Nadine's store more than she did but she supposes she'll have to do it in the mean time. But speaking of... ] ๐๐ฉ! ๐๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ, ๐ช๐ต ๐ฎ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ โ ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ค๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
[ She feels a little bit of embarrassed relief ripple through her when she voices the bit about checking in every other day. It's like Claire read her mind. ]
[ There's no telling what may or may not happen, Claire's starting to feel as if things might be more unpredictable than she thought, even after all the people she's spoken to. ]
[ When Jamie was missing, all the times they'd been forcefully separated, it was nearly impossible to think about anything else. It's right now that Claire has disdain for the lack of ability when it comes to traveling between settlements; she'd invite herself over to watch over Hilda and keep her company if she could. ]
[ Hilda loved a little trouble as much as the next person, but her taste for politicians throwing a little fit about where Summoned arrived and where they went wasn't her cup of tea. ]
[ But she takes pride in those laugh lines around her eyes and mouth. She may not have had much laughter, but when she did, she likes to think it was enough to imprint itself on her. So that in times like these, when she's alone and far from family, she can be reminded with a glance in the mirror. ]
[ It doesn't matter if she can't see the smile; Hilda would like to think that she can see Claire in her minds eye smiling at her all the same.
The bit about wrinkles trips her up slightly and for a moment she's worried that she's offended her, talking so carelessly about something that she may or may not actually be worried about some day. But her next message doesn't betray any sort of indication otherwise so she tries to gracefully save herself from her brief trip. ]
I just wanted to let you know I've been granted permission to visit Solvunn to help with the situation there. I'll be bringing you equipment and supplies, it's all approved.
I've made a list of everything you mentioned already, but if there's anything else, let me know. I'll try and bring it.
[ Claire sorts in amusement at the message that comes across her vision. ]
There was no shortage of awkward small talk. [ Riffing off of his message, she remembers the boring attempts at casual conversation at the hospital of her past. ] It's good to know I'll always be rubbish at that, even with a mask. You made it through alright, then?
[ She has no clue it was him who creepily guessed her identity, she's so bad at this. ]
Well, I have my arms and legs, not to mention my intelligence. I'll be right as rain in a day or two. I think the next time anyone comes knocking I'll just pretend I'm not home.
[He posted my thoughts on the matter and found people resistant to the idea it wasn't all above board. He knows she likely caught it in passing. No need to repeat himself.]
I suppose it was fine for what it was, but it simply isn't my favorite thing. Guessing games aren't my favorite, I should amend. I've been to plenty of grand balls in my life, but never a masquerade.
What I enjoyed much more was exploring the area we could, while we could. It's a shame we don't know when we'll be able to return, if ever. That part I wouldn't mind again.
[Guessing games. That's a fine way to describe the buzz around the Fey's intentions.]
Yes, I too enjoyed the luxurious accomodations. Unfortunately, their imposition of bunkmates put a dampener on the whole deal. Sometimes I felt they were having a laugh at our sense. Faeries are known for practical jokes, after all.
[ Her bunkmate situation revealed so much about her life that she's still reeling from it, but she's not ready to bring that up to anyone. Not yet. Suffice it to say, between her and John, only one of them was confused to share a bed together. And it wasn't John. ]
I do value my own space, that was a bit of a letdown. And being tall didn't help my comfort any, but that part I can't fault them for. It isn't as if they have many residents my height, from what I gathered.
Maybe they were laughing at us, I certainly felt like a fool at the ball in my dress. I'll be happy to never do that again.
[ She dressed up to play the game, but at the end of the day, it just wasn't her thing. She doesn't mind fancy parties and dressing up—this wasn't it. ]
Did you have nice enough roommates at the very least?
Life can always be worse, and it isn't the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
[ She wonders if he reached out for any particular reason, not that she doesn't mind chatting. In fact, she thinks it's rather nice he's 'called' so to speak. ]
It's fortuitous that you reached out. I have a few things to share about the plant life, if you have a moment? Unless you called for more than gossip about the Fey.
[ This is where Claire is most comfortable in conversation—talking about the things she finds most fascinating. Whether plants or medicine, it's clear when she's passionate and when she isn't. ]
I had someone with healing magic accompany me, and so I was able to test plants on myself to see if they did what I thought they would. Quite a few were rather benign, but there were a few that caused symptoms of distress nearly immediately. Sweating, nausea, that sort of thing.
[ Poor Michael. He had to see and heal some things. ]
It seems as though more of their plants have defenses against predators than I've seen in Solvunn.
[ Which means possible medicinal uses if she could ever get her hands on them. ]
I know. Believe me, I was tempted, but it wouldn't have been worth it.
[ Perhaps if it had been out of a territory already occupied by Summoned she would have risked it, but the relationship with the Fey seemed too tenuous. ]
I would like that, very much. I'd enjoy seeing you more in your element.
I find myself more of a night owl these days, so I don't mind the evening at all. Late evening works even better so that I have a chance to finish my share of the chores.
[ Which she actually doesn't mind; it should have been her life, after all, so she's living it here. ]
[ Claude's been studying the gift placed on his desk ever since he unwrapped it and read the note inside by way of turning it over and over in his hands to note all the details. What stands out the most at first glance is the tree inside which causes him to smile slightly each time his gaze falls upon it again. He's remembered Claire talking about her ability granted in the way of plants when they've discussed magic and so much else, and what was created - it's touching in a way which someone normally so gregarious has trouble finding the words for describing.
And, well - the gift giver isn't currently talking to him in something that's mutual so while he should probably also thank her at some point, Claire's who he reaches out to first. ]
I hear you're the reason I'm sitting here looking at something resembling my favorite pine trees. Thank you for that thoughtfulness since it's been far nicer to look at something from home that isn't only in the Horizon than I could've ever guessed it'd be. Was this from the power you'd told me about?
Thank you, Claire. It's hard to believe this is my second birthday here, and yet here we are. I usually head to Nocwich each weekend it's open, so how about tea there on a day that works for you whenever you're also planning on going?
And trust me, no matter how it came about it's still well appreciated as is your ambition. I'll be sure to keep it in a safe spot.
[ There's a pause then as he considers something else in what Claire's told him which hadn't occurred to him before now as a possibility. ]
And I think I have a request of my own, if you don't mind and of course only if you'd have the time for it. I promise there'd be far less deadlines involved too, if that also helps.
[ She isn't even sure if she likes the sound of that, but the offer is there. Coffee is fine, she doesn't mind it, but she's so British. Claude's piqued her interest, and Claire can't help but want to know more. ]
I'd like that. The coffee in Cadens leaves a lot to be desired much like the tea, so I wouldn't mind trying anywhere that you've come to enjoy.
And... I'll confess that this isn't the most original idea I've ever had, considering what you've already created. Hilda's birthday was a few months ago and I'd looked everywhere for one of her favorite flowers called anemones. The closest I could find was a scarf with a rather abstract pattern, but it wasn't quite what I'd hoped. If there's any way a real version of that could be created, I'd be grateful. Well, even more than I already am for what you've done already.
[ He'd forgotten about being able to send pictures even despite seeing them here and there before in other messages, so when Claire's drawings appear in his vision Claude actually startles just a bit. It's probably for the best he's alone, but - that also doesn't stop a grin from coming across his face. ]
Those look just like them! I'm glad you know of them as well since that means you're spared my poor scribbling of flowers in your sight. The colors Fodlan had included red, pink, purple, and white from what I remember. Any such color would do, but pink would be most fitting.
And... [ At that his writing visibly trails off while he thinks. It takes a solid minute or two, but it does eventually resume. ] I don't mind you asking, but I don't think that's the case. At least not yet. But - I think this might go a little ways in helping.
[ For both the offer and the flowers, but the latter is what he'll continue on with. ]
As nice as a bouquet would be - and it absolutely would be - I think the potted plant would be my preference if it wouldn't be too much more trouble. Something for more blooms later on, you know? And I know that Hilda will enjoy it that much more if it lasts since it'll be something from you as well.
There's a terrace on top of the loft where we live. If we're able to later, we can transplant one of the offshoots to add to the garden, too, to appreciate it even more.
[ Or for Hilda to appreciate it, since too late Claude realizes putting 'we' on that is a bit of an assumption he's not sure he's entitled to. His hope Hilda will enjoy it, though, is very real. ]
That all sounds like a wonderful plan to me. I'll look forward to both. Thank you again, Claire.
[ ooc: this is what I had in mind! It will be a happy cherry on top that she gets so many in one go! But there's also something more like this which is a little tamer :D ]
[ She still has some imagination, and she likes imagining herself silver-haired with plants and grandchildren one day. No grandchildren here, but she might have everything else. God help her if she's still here when her hair goes completely silver. ]
[ And if she does go silver one day, Hilda can help her dye it if she feels so inclined to. That being said, Hilda is under the impression that whatever hair colour Claire chooses to wear is one she could pull off. ]
[R u d e, Claire. They're the ones at odds with him.]
Only the ones that opposed the Apocalypse.
[Which does seem to be the pool from which Abraxas pulls the Summoned from his world, so. He's not expecting anyone happy to see him to come through any time soon.]
Surely, though I couldn't tell you much more about his time on Earth. He left Heaven a few thousand years ago and hid from us. I doubt he's become any easier to tolerate in that time.
He ran because he's never been particularly fond of responsibility. The warning is because he thinks he's funny. If he makes a particular nuisance of himself, call on me.
Yes and no. We're not on good terms but I still don't care to see him laid out on an altar because he ran afoul of the wrong pagan. I suppose that makes me his keeper until his powers return.
[The word is stalker. He will be stalking Gabriel for the next week.]
It bothers me more that the locals can pull archangels back from death. You'd think they'd at least have picked a loyal brother by now.
[ They had met for their usual tea and catch up in Nocwich which is when Hilda had taken the opportunity to hand deliver Claire's gift. She had made the woman promise not to open it until she returned to Solvunn. It wasn't like it was anything offensive or embarrassing that couldn't be opened in the middle of the tea shop, but Hilda had insisted, claiming to be too sheepish to be there when she did open it.
Some of it had to do with being uncertain whether or not it was a silly purchase or if Claire would find it useful at all. She was normally the sort of person who was incredibly confident in her ability to buy people gifts but as of late even that confidence had taken a bit of a hit. More than that though, it's the contents of the note itself that are the bit embarrassing her.
When Claire does return to her home and opens the large, nicely wrapped box, the smell of leather will hit her first. Wrapped in tissue and a duster bag is a beautifully handstitched doctor's bag that comes with an adjustable strap. The hardware is polished to shine and just below the clasp of the bag stamped in gold, are Claire's initials. It's spacious on the inside, lined with a simple pattern.
A smaller, card version of the bag seems to house the note that accompanies the present. When she opens the "bag", a slip of paper pops out of it with the accompanying words: ]
[ After opening the gift, her breath is quite literally taken away as the smell of rich leather comes through. She can't imagine this didn't cost a small fortune, and it's absolutely beautiful. Much better than the bulky box-shaped kit she'd managed to make cheaply. There's a fond tightness in her chest, and she immediately dashes off a message, even while still running her hands over the leather and exploring the interior. ]
[ Left in front of Claire's house is a woven basket with her name written on it. Inside are seashells, dead butterflies that will almost certainly disintegrate if not handled with care, and a shark tooth. ]
[ The first thing she thinks is that he's getting so good at writing. She carefully looks through her parcel, and honestly, the butterflies are the highlight and she already knows what she'll do with them. Her solstice gift for Nanaue isn't quite ready, so for now, she sends him a message. ]
[ She knows something about sharks and their replaceable teeth, but not much. It's a personal—if not uncommon—token, and she's curious if it is his, or meant to be representative of him only. For a second she thinks of the jar of teeth at Josselyn's, and huffs out a laugh of dark amusement to herself. ]
[the package is set down at the stoop of claire's home. it's definitely big enough to pique the curiosity of the recipient as to open it as soon as possible, in any case. inside, an amount of homemade goods have been stacked atop each other: teas, soaps, and moisturizing lotions.
something else lies wrapped, though, and once opened, it'll reveal itself to be an apron to tie at her waist, with the novelty of pockets, so she may never run out of space while gardening or tending to her bees.
[ Claire's gift will be given at her Christmas gathering, and so she hasn't played her version of Mrs. Claus yet, but she's supremely excited to. When she receives Wanda's gift, all of it is smiled brightly over, but the apron is the star, because pockets. ]
[Lord John is well aware by now that this does not, in fact, work like a letter, but old habits die hard.]
I hope you are well. This storm that has settled over the land here in Thorne is wreaking not the least amount of havoc. Its winds are heaviest in Nott, and we in the guard are being advised to prepare ourselves for a temporary station there to assist Admiral Sidwell with repairs.
[John has many reasons he is reaching out. Checking in is definitely one of them, although the fact that he is talking about repairs and his duties on city guard means that he's hedging a little.]
[ Claire is not well; the weather has done a number on her sanity, but she's always glad to hear from John. As she scans his message, she brushes her hands off and glances at the sky. Things are calm, for now, but she assumes the twisters will pick up again. ]
I've lost my garden and the fence, but thank goodness only that, as of now. I worry it will get worse, and so I'm only attempting to salvage at this point, and wait it out. This didn't happen last year at the same time.
[ It's a bit wild to her that she has a year ago to compare to. She's so distracted with the weather, that she doesn't think twice about John having another reason for calling, seeing it as a perfectly suitable reason to reach out. ]
[Relief floods through him as she replies. Not to hear of the things she has lost, but to know she is well. To hear from Claire herself. He is grateful for that, and for this method of communication as well, as much as he is still uncertain of it.]
Some rain, and the lightning, but winds are the worst of it. The fishing villages near the coast have been bearing the brunt of their force, and itโs all we can do to salvage at this point as well.
Please stay safe and let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Keep me abreast of any and all news of you and yours.
[Speaking ofโฆ]
I had wanted to catch up with you. Of an update, on the topic of which we spoke last. But I fear we may not be able to meet each other again for some time, given the current events in Nochwich.
[If it is possible to be awkward even in writing, he is.]
I can't help but feel as though this is only the beginning with the weather.
[ The last they spoke was emotional and vulnerable, perhaps moreso for John than Claire. But she was speaking truthfully and genuinely about wanting his happiness and feeling like his best chance at finding it, is right here on Abraxas. So, he immediately pings her with his words and feels as disheartened about Nocwich being closed. ]
There is always the Horizon, even if the weather is affecting it, too. We could take our chances. You could always tell me this way, as a last resort. Either way, I'm listening, as it were.
[John had honestly not considered the Horizon as being an option โ still finding himself adjusting to life here in this place despite having spent time enough there one might think he would have done better by now. But she is right. They need not converse about this in such a fashion, even with the weather in the Horizon also temperamental. So far the Beefsteak has not suffered too greatly, he hopes the same is true for Claireโs own space.]
The Horizon. Of course.
Would you care to stop by for a drink, my dear? At the Beefsteak? It may not be real but nevertheless, there is a fine glass of brandy waiting there just for you. And perhaps this conversation may be better suited in person, or as close as we are able, as it were.
[ She isn't sure where she stands with the Horizon; when things go sideways inside of it, she always wonders if they could become stuck, bodies vulnerable while they can't escape their minds. As of yet, no such thing has happened, so she decides not to decline. If something does keep them locked in, at least they'll be together. ]
Who am I to say no to brandy, real or not? I can be there within ten minutes or so, if that isn't too soon?
Not too soon at all. Thank you for accommodating me on such short notice. I will meet you there, my dear.
[True to his word, John is ready and waiting at the Beefsteak, whenever Claire makes her arrival. The Horizon is not too unstable there, although it is storming something dreadful. The building itself stands strong against the wind and rain, and once you are inside the fire is quite warm and inviting.
There is a decanter of brandy waiting to be poured for the pair of them, although John is standing ready to receive her at the front door, with a cloth to dry off if necessary. It is only polite, after all.]
[ When Claire arrives and makes her way through the door, she's immediately grateful to see John waiting to dry her off. Her hair got the worst of it, and she tries to keep her dripping contained. Thanks to a shopping trip with Hilda, Claire's wardrobe has been modernized a little, so that she isn't always in corsets and skirts. This evening she's dressed down, in black leggings and an oversized blue and white checkered sweater, meant to be overlarge and comfortable. It's nice, not having layers that need to dry by the fire.
Once she's dry enough she embraces John, glad to see him as always, and quietly fretting. ]
[John will always be a little old-fashioned in his manners and his ways, but there isnโt necessarily anything wrong with that. He was born and raised to be a gentleman, and he has never heard anyone complain they did not appreciate his manners.
He gladly accepts the embrace that is offered, glad for her company. Glad to see her in person, if only incorporeally.]
I cannot even begin to pretend I understand why. Though I am grateful you are here. Wonโt you come and join me by the fire, my dear.
[He gestures down the hallway, toward the room he has prepared for them to sit in.]
[ Claire's eager to get to the fire and lets him lead the way now that she's suitably dry. Each time she arrives, she has to take in what's around her, enjoying the space John's created before entering the sitting room.
Once she's settled, it means her shoes are off and her feet are curled beneath her. ]
I've lost my garden, now I'm hoping I don't lose the windows of my house. But that's not what we came here to discuss, at least not primarily. You have news.
[John frowns at that. He knows how special her garden is to her, but he also knows that it can be rebuilt. Flowers and plants are resilient, and it is likely that not all is lost.
At her reminder of the reason for his summons, he flushes slightly. It feels a little silly, given the storm happening around them, but he has to tell her sometime, and he does not want to keep this to himself just because there are more serious matters happening outside their door.]
Ah. Yes, well.
[He turns, fussing with the nearby decanter for a moment, buying himself time to figure out how to broach the subject entirely.] I had wished to speak with you aboutโฆ A particular someone. [He cuts his eyes back to her.] Relating to our last conversation on the subject.
[He winces internally. It isnโt his best start, he will allow that much.]
[ It's almost as if a switch has been flipped, and Claire forgets the weather, face opening up into a hopeful expression. She's wanted for him something that makes him deeply happy without having to hide anything about himself, and she still staunchly believes that it can happen on this planet. ]
Oh yes, I remember. Please tell me you've had a happy development?
[ She waits eagerly, both for the brandy and John's news, hoping they'll have something worth toasting to. ]
[John knows that he is taking his time in this reveal. He also feels more than a little bit self-conscious about this conversation -- which is ridiculous, in retrospect, considering how intimately he does know Claire.
Crossing back to the fire, he hands her a glass of brandy, keeping his own as he sinks down into his chair before he replies.]
I -- think so, yes.
[He offers her the flash of a self-conscious smile before glancing down into his glass in an attempt to gather himself.] I suppose you could say that I took what you said to heart. I'm... Not certain I can say what his motivation was. Perhaps it was the spirit of the Carnivale?
[ Taking the glass with thanks, she takes a sip just as he begins explaining, and her entire countenance lights up. ]
John! You've buried the lede here, this is fantastic. You had me worried you were downplaying something terrible.
[ She leans forward in her own chair, smile still in place. ]
So, you were both swept up and—?
[ Claire isn't sure if this is the first time he's been entirely, completely safe to tell his own story in as many or as few details as he'd like, and so she tries to keep the reins in his hands and be an enthusiastic friend. ]
[It is in fact one of the first times that John has ever been able to speak about things without fear, to another person who is not so directly involved. And even then, when he had shared with Claire, it had been mostly an interrogation on her part. Like a dog with a bone, she had been determined to ferret the information out of him and he hadโฆ Let her.
To offer it freely is much more terrifyingly new. But he would rather she hear it from him directly than at another time, from another person (somehow โ and isnโt that a further nauseating thought).]
We have been known to each other for some time now. I was not certain ifโฆ Such attention would be welcome. In my attempts to investigate, I suppose that I was perhaps a little too obvious in my pursuit. [He glances up to her with the flash of a self-conscious, uncertain smile.] I fear I am still not used to this place. I still forget that there are other places and other times whereโฆ It is not so.
[His smile widens at the memory of that night.] He just came out and asked me, very bluntly.
[ Listening raptly, by the end, Claire's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt a little, and then she laughs happily. ]
Oh, I would've honestly loved to have seen the expression on your face! It's understandable, being unsure, so I'm happy to know Geralt finally put it out there. [ What a relief it is, to know one's wanted in return, no matter the nature of the relationship. She hopes he has this for a long while, that it has the chance to turn into as much as John's hopes have taken him. ]
And now, do you plan on...well, whatever the equivalent is to courting or going together is on this planet, while we're here?
I hope you're doing okay. The Free Cities has been having lovely sand storms and lightning ever since, well....ever since. I hope you are doing alright in Solvunn and people aren't getting hurt too badly over there?
[ Claire doesn't really know Will; they've had one conversation prior to this, but she understands that he's as capable as the adults around him and smart, perhaps smarter than average. She doesn't doubt that he'll be doing his best for others. ]
[ As thrilled as he is about knowing her whole name, he's genuinely sorry for what she's lost in the storms. (And he'll ask more about Grey shortly.) ]
[ The wind is seriously a hindrance, and even though Claire is spry, she's still over fifty and she doesn't spring back quite as easily. Those winds knock her back as easily as the older folks she's been doing her best to help. ]
[ Claire's heart warms; she feels such a pull to the Doctor in a way she felt toward her uncle: yearning to be in the space of someone who truly wants to watch her learn, someone who listens to what she's saying and helps her form ideas and opinions, and at the end of the day, someone who checks in, calls, or in this case reaches out in her mind, just because he's a bit worried. There will never be an age where she doesn't long for a paternal connection of her own, and she feels it so easily with the Doctor. ]
[ She knows she survived because a decade later she marries Lord John, so she feels comfortable with her words. They may not be as reassuring as she's hoping, though. ]
[ Likewise, of course, the Doctor feels pulled to Claire. He might not have worked out the specific reasons why, exactly, but that call to her is unmistakable and palpable, a feeling and a need to guide her, watch over her from afar. She's more than capable, he knows that, it's just that he feels protective of her. ]
[ Here, Claire pauses. In the time she's been in Abraxas, she has tried not to think about Geillis. The woman who, with no way of knowing she'd live, sacrificed herself for Claire. The woman who kidnapped Ian. The woman Claire murdered and whose bones she examined two hundred years later. There's a significant pause before she sends anything else through to be read. ]
[ And she skips right over all of it because it wasn't a good time. However, if anyone was going to prod, the Doctor would be the most likely to receive answers. ]
[ It is, of course, quite the adventure to live through, and Claire's more than had her fair share, from other things she's told him. It never ceases to amaze him (and, at times, trouble him), the things that humans can go through in their relatively short lives. But it's also a reminder of why it's been so naturally easy to connect with Claire — she's seen and done so much, and she carries on raising hell, as she says.
On the other end of the psychic interface, the Doctor smiles faintly. ]
[ She isn't sure what to think, either. Seeing his familiar script gives her a feeling of homesickness, but it's false. It wasn't real, and she can't ache for something that never actually existed. Claire isn't sure what she's ready for, if she's ready to confront this. But she's faced worse...hasn't she? She can face this, face Jon. ]
๐๐๐ . ๐๐๐ , ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ค๐ ๐ โ๐๐ข๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐. [ Can she still say things like that to him, when he isn't the safe place for her thoughts the way she's believed? She doesn't know. ] ๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐. [ There are no woods, of course, nothing as vast as what once was. Or wasn't. She can't figure out which it is. ]
I need a few hours. I am a hand taller than I was before our journey to the Singularity. Before I do anything else, I must sort out new clothes, new boots.
That you feel lost — I don't like it. You deserve better.
[ She doesn't know if she will or not, but right now she has bigger things on her mind. Her bees are dead, her home needs half a roof, and she misses the wrong husband. ]
[The truth here would be easy: "I like your silver hair" and "I'm not all right." But he has no right to say these things, so he doesn't. And it might be that time will soften them; it might be that it will not. Hard to say now. She isn't dead, like Ygritte is dead; she is only over in Solvunn and not truly his in any real sense. He cannot say whether this will make things better or worse.]
Better than me. My head is a whirl.
You should keep your hair as you like it, however you like it. There might be herbs that can make it brown again, if a spell cannot.
[ The thought is automatic, less filtered, and she regrets it as soon as its gone. She doesn't know him, or have any right to those words, does she? She doesn't know how to recover from that thought, and so she barrels ahead to changing the topic back to their plans. ]
[ Her heart feels like it's in her throat, and Claire stares at the door as if it's committed a great offense to her. She's made what she knows he likes because...well. Why not? She's already second-guessing herself as she looks at the tea and biscuits. But she does finally stand from her table and open the door.
Seeing him causes a knot in her throat that she tries to swallow, but it causes a small wobble of her chin. She ducks her head and then steps aside, finding her voice. Her long silver hair is down and perfectly hides a portion of her face when she dips her head, just as she was hoping for. ]
[Her hair, still silver. He does not expect that seeing her will feel like a blow, but it does. Even the simple cottage is still so familiar, like something he's seen in every dream he's had since he was a boy -- better than the true ones, which usually involve being lost and unwanted in the crypts at Winterfell, or fighting endless waves of wights with the faces of everyone he's ever known or loved.
Everyone but her. He has loved her. He's lived whole lifetimes with her. He hardly knows her.
When he comes inside, he has the ghost of an impulse to sit in a chair and kick off his boots and put his feet up and pull her into his lap. He does none of these things, pushing them aside. This is not your place, no more than those crypts are. Instead, he inclines his head to her, a gesture of respect.]
-- I still don't know what to say. Saying I'm sorry, that's a place to start.
[He stands far enough into the room that she can close the door behind him; he stares at her sadly.]
Edited (give me time and I can make the text *even smaller*.) 2024-05-23 04:27 (UTC)
[ Claire doesn't say anything at all after he speaks, not until she's closed the door quietly behind him. For a moment she rests her head against the wood with her eyes closed, but then she turns to look at him, eyes resting on his. ]
You have nothing to be sorry for, it isn't necessary. If anything I'm—
[ She's what? Married and should have somehow known to resist? Confused because she doesn't understand why she can't quickly fall back on being married, unavailable and unaffected by what happened? ]
I didn't make it easy for you when you tried to explain the truth to me, and for that, I'm sorry.
[ She was borderline juvenile about her refusal, but she's trying to stand taller now, trying to remind herself that none of this was their fault. Her love for him isn't her fault. ]
[he says, but he says it easily, with no rancor. She had not made it easy for him, but -- ]
I can't think of a reason why you should have. It was your whole life, and for my part -- well, I wished then that I had never known. We could have gone on happily until the end if I had not gone to Hayle.
Still, I -- it's better to know the truth.
[He keeps his tone very calm and serious as he says these things. He has told himself, before arriving, that speaking this way is for the best.]
How is Solvunn, now that you've returned to it? Thorne seems much the same as ever, apart from the trouble the storm caused.
[ Claire hears him, she does. She hears him, she listens, and her voice feels caught in her throat. She hears her husband, then she thinks of Jamie, and she wonders if he'll ever arrive in Abraxas for her to apologize to, to beg for forgiveness her trespasses. Would that be another year for now? Eight-hundred? ]
Solvunn will be fine. I need a new roof, all my bees are dead, the community is rebuilding. Is that what we're here to speak of, then? I'll give the more detailed report if so.
[ Brushing her hands over her skirt, she sits at the table and pours tea for both of them simply to have something to do with her hands. It isn't because she spent lifetimes taking care of him, knowing what he likes, able to anticipate it. It's because he's a guest, he'd do the same for anyone. Or so she tells herself. ]
[His gaze drops to the top of the table, and he hesitates for a moment before he looks back up at her.]
No. It isn't.
But I wanted to know if you wanted anything from the castle town in Thorne. I will bring it to you in Nocwich, when I can. I'd help you with your roof if I could, too, but -- [An awkward, dismissive shrug -- he can't see her house in Solvunn, let alone aid her with it. Then, more hesitation, and then,]
How well do we know each other, in truth?
[The entire time, he ignores what she's pouring into the cup.]
[ Claire waves a hand dismissively at his trailing off sentence, sitting and running a hand over her forehead distractedly. ]
I know, itโs alright. I donโt think Iโm short anyone willing to help, but Iโll make a list if youโre really alright with it, of supplies I might need.
[ Sheโs quiet. It feels like thereโs an ocean between them, and where the answer should be simple, it isnโt. ]
You know me more intimately than anyone in Abraxas. Everything about my heart, my character. You know fears and worries, all of that was real Jon. What you donโt know is what I was forced to forget, but Iโll tell you anything you want. It involves time travel, Iโve been pulled to another time before.
[ She doesnโt want him to think sheโs hiding anything, and her gaze settles on his. ]
The Singularity gave us one another for centuries, and I havenโt had even a handful of years with Jamie. Heโs the father of my children and I do love him, deeply.
[ Claireโs voice is shaking, the knot of guilt unfurling. ]
For two decades I grieved for Jamie, a shell of myself. I got him back, I had him for less than two years, and then I was here. Itโs been a year since my arrival, and at first I thoughtโฆwell, I thought I would be that same half-alive person without him. But then I wasnโt. I made friends here, I created a small family for myself, and I realized I was happy. Making choices solely for myself, building connections, realizing my happiness didnโt depend on being reunited with Jamie.
[ She heaves out a breath, realizing she might as well finish so she can stop talking. ]
Before all of this, Iโd already started missing having someone not only in my bed, but someone who knew the deeper parts of me. Everything that matters when you let someone into your heart.
[ Then she had it, and now she doesnโt want to let go. She understands that she has to, and she assumes these are final words. Sheโll have to think later about what sort of person she is for wanting all of this, if sheโs always been selfish. ]
[He only nods, a little blankly, at the first part. Then he listens.
What he hears is: she loves this other man. They have children, something she and Jon could never have had. She had missed Jamie when she was summoned... but then, less and less.
Jon's fist flexes, then loosens. He wants to smash the man's face in. Poor man, who has done nothing to him but be born somewhere, at some time; a man whose great crime had been to meet Claire first. He wonders what he would do if he rounded a corner and met Ygritte. Her body is ashes in the wind scattered all across the North now. He has tried to let her go, however long it has taken. No man can hold to ashes forever.]
And that's what we were?
[Some of the skepticism in his expression relents when he goes on to explain, gently as he can,]
You don't know everything about me, either. You know more than most, but not the things I couldn't remember -- same as it is with you. I was not made to forget anything like a wife, I am free to marry if I wish, but other things. My duty is to rally the defense of the North, and I am nowhere near the North. They took me from it.
[Still, one thing stands out in everything she has said: somewhere in all of this, she has loved him. Their life together had been as true as it might be, for all that it had been an illusion. He adds,]
[ She bites back quickly, a shade of embarrassment if she was wrong beginning to color her cheeks. ]
You say I don't know everything about you as if something is keeping us from getting to know one another again, truthfully this time. Although, how do we even know this is all of it? What if something else has happened, if more time has passed than we think, or a bigger event occurred, and we just don't know?
[ Her gaze focuses on the top of her mug, watching the steam slowly rise. For his last statement, she tries to come up with something to say, but all she can come up with is a truth. ] When I met Jamie I was married. Something...similar to Abraxas had happened to me. It kept me in the same place, only moved me two-hundred years into the past. [ One thumb glides up and down the side of the hot mug, swallowing, wondering what he'll think of her after this. Likely nothing good, if he takes issue with her being married now. ]
Weeks after we'd married, I had the chance to go back to my own time, I didn't. I suffered for it later plenty, believe me, but I made my decision and left a husband to wonder what in hell happened to me. I don't know what it says about me, if I'm able to love deeply and easily, or if I'm selfish, needy.
[ She knows based on what others have said that it's likely if she ever does leave Abraxas, she won't remember her time here, won't have any knowledge of it, and will go right back to floating in the to the middle of the ocean none the wiser. She also knows Jamie could theoretically arrive tomorrow, but she's already done a sort of waiting, for two decades, and she can't go through it again, always wanting for something, always aching. ]
I understand if this is too much, Jon, I do. If nothing else, I would like to at least be a friend to you.
[ A friend who still remembers canvassing the man in front of her with hands and mouth, things which she will absolutely not allow herself to think about now. ]
And...I'm sorry.
[ Because now she thinks it's worth saying again, after all she's mentioned. ]
[She has given him a cup of tea. Before their false marriage, he had never tasted the stuff. Tea at Winterfell had been sweet herbs, usually mint, not the bitter stuff she brews. But he had grown to like it well enough, and he knows how to make it taste better, just so much sugar or honey, just so much milk or cream. He does that now, and drinks it, and... oh, he recalls the flavor well enough.
He watches her as she speaks, but sometimes, what she says to him has him looking down at the table. He is looking at her, though, when he affirms,]
We were. It was for me. No one has ever known me better than you did then. But it wouldn't be right to assume that's how you feel about it now. I needed to know.
[The rest bewilders him. A second husband? Not really married to this Jamie at all, but she had loved him, missed him, mourned him? He listens -- he will be thinking about little else for days -- but he doesn't yet respond to it. Part of him wants to kiss her to stop her talking, leaping ahead as she is, and the better part of him knows it would solve nothing. Hearing what she's saying might be like little knives, but it is the truth, better than a comforting lie.
He sets his teacup down and puts his face in his hands, rubbing over his eyes, before looking up again.]
Of course we're friends. None better. I didn't tell you that there are things you don't know about me to make you feel like you don't know me, or you can't.
[A deep breath.]
My father was Lord Stark. Winterfell was his castle, you know that much. He was good through and through -- the best man I ever met. But I am not Jon Stark; I never have been. He fathered me on some woman -- I've never known who -- when he was at war, even though he had been newly married. And when the war ended, he brought me home to his castle.
I don't know what they treat bastard children like where you come from, but where I come from, they say that bastards are born sinners because they come from sin. Born full of lust because they are born of lust. Born oathbreakers because they come from the breaking of an oath. If my father had been a different man, I might have been raised as the servant of his trueborn children, or raised far away from them, instead of beside them. There are worse places to be a bastard child than the North, but --
[An expansive little gesture. It had been bad enough.]
When I was a boy, I wanted to prove them all wrong. Prove that a bastard might have honor; prove that I was not a stain on my father's name. And still, I've done many things as a man that I swore, as a boy, that I would never do. You think things are simple when you're a child. You don't understand how hard some choices can be -- that sometimes there is more honor in breaking an oath than keeping one, and that one man's honor does not matter against the lives of a thousand people.
I'm telling you this so you understand why it troubles me to lie with another man's wife. But then, I weigh that against another measure. We were happy for hundreds of years.
I've hardly ever looked to be happy; I've hardly had the chance.
[He hears the uncertainty in his own voice. What he means is: how much should his own happiness matter? Or, if not his, hers?]
[ Claire listens attentively; this isn't only about her, about her marriage and life before. She listens and wants to reach out to take his hand in quiet support while he speaks, remembers nights of talking for hours on end about what she thought was their lives all from the comfort of his arms. And she hears, which is more important than listening in any case, and why the knot of guilt tightens in her gut. There is a pause before she speaks; it isn't easy for her to want Jon, it isn't as easy as shrugging Jamie off, and she worries that's how she comes across. ]
I understand the reasons you have, and I think most morally centered people would need to take a step back. You're right; as a child, even a younger person before being introduced to the real horrors of the world, things are so black and white. 'I will never' and 'I will always' come easily. Too easily because we simply don't know any better.
[ Something in her softens, loosens, as if the tension has been set free, even if momentarily. ]
As adults, we have the ability to see nuance and apply context. Some can do that more easily than others, or perhaps I'm attempting to make excuses for myself. Either way, I lived for twenty years in a nebulous space, faithful to a man so far away that he was a ghost, while someone right next to me wanted me, wanted to love me, be a husband.
[ Frank was by no means perfect, but he accepted her when he had every right not to. He did things she will always abhor, he took things from her, all but her ring, but he also tried. He tried harder than he had to, and she rejected him, stayed buried in her grief and never, ever moved on. ]
I could've chosen to be happy while keeping space to mourn and miss Jamie, but I didn't. I could make the same mistake again, but I won't.
[ Claire sounds a little more sure of herself, but still isn't positive there's anything she can say that makes her sound like less of a wandering wife. ]
I want to live my life, and if love is a part of that, if that's what happiness looks like, I don't want to push it away because something may or may not happen. I don't want to lose hundreds of years of happiness, even if...
[ Even if their status and history in Abraxas was a lie. Their feelings weren't, were they? ]
Even if I have to defend myself to Jamie. Tomorrow, two years from now, two hundred. I can't live another life wanting and feeling achingly alone.
[He absorbs this, mostly silent. She doesn't understand that one of the things he had sworn he would never do was to lie with a woman: he is free of that vow now, but he had broken it of necessity long before he was free of it, and the breaking was bitter and sweet all at once. Still, loving a woman freely does not come easily to him. And it's for him like it is for Claire, in some ways: Ygritte has been dead for some time. He had mourned her; he had thought to join her, when he was dying himself, and then it had not happened that way. She is utterly lost to him, and always has been, and he had learned to live without her. There had been no other choice.
But the life he remembers with Claire had gone on for centuries, not only a few moons, and had never been so fraught as his time with Ygritte had been, and today, Claire means more to him. It is hard for it to feel like a betrayal of a woman he is not likely to see again. He can even imagine what Ygritte would have said, with that sly smile of hers: Taken up with a woods witch, have you, Jon Snow? But she would have wanted him to live freely, not to suffer and mourn and think only of duty.]
That's the trouble, isn't it? I don't like to think of you all lonely like that. You ought to be happy. If we part now, there will be other men -- someday. I don't like to think of you with another man, either. Not your Jamie, I am sorry, and not anyone else.
If I break with you in truth, those things will come. They should come. I will have to stand aside, watch them. No right to do anything else, and no one to blame.
[Right now, it seems she is a widow, more than another man's wife. She is much older than he is, too.
If those things don't come, might be that she will leave this world the way others have, and it will be like it was with Alicent: his hesitation, knowing of her husband, knowing the man had sat the Iron Throne all those years ago, had removed all possibility between them.
The idea of all of that makes him feel heartsick. He has endured that before, though. His heart is usually of such little matter.
He does reach for her hand, covers it with his, for all that he wears a slight frown. It feels good to touch her. A living woman, right in front of him, and both their futures in his hands.]
We were happy for so long. And we might -- that might be near enough to our lives now, not in five hundred years. Not after all that sorrow. Is that what's right?
[He doesn't know if she can tell how much he wants it, and how hard it is to take the last step. But he is beginning to understand that there might not be another chance.]
[ She can tell. And she suspects that there are things still to know, information to process, and other realizations to come to. But she wants to know those things and understand with him. When he reaches for her hand, she covers his with her free one and lightly slides her thumb along the side of his palm. His admission feels like a spark of hope despite every manufactured moment and differences between them.
Keeping her hand in his, Claire stands and moves around the table to the chair right beside him. Now her free hand is against his cheek, holding his face in her hand, a perfect fit. It's a gesture that feels so familiar, and she tries to soothe away his frown with her touch. ]
What do you want, Jon Snow?
[ She answers his question with a question of her own. Has he ever been asked that, ever been able to ponder the question and ultimately choose himself? The hand in his squeezes gently in encouragement, but she doesn't let her believe it will be as easy as a simple answer. She has hope, but it's hesitant. ]
[The way she rubs her finger against his nearly makes him pull her in; the way she cups his cheek only adds to the temptation. He leans into the palm of her hand, closing his eyes, and has to stop himself from turning his head to kiss it.
So easy to live in this love, this moment. It could be the last, or it could be only one of many.
He opens his eyes, catches her gaze with his.]
You know what I want.
[You, for as long as I can have you.
He exhales, then adds,]
But I also don't want either of us to do something we'll regret.
I would be breaking faith with no one. You say you would not be: I want you to be sure. We have never touched each other in truth, but I remember every -- [Every inch of you, every breath.] Everything. There's a difference between something that fell on us and something we chose.
When I was a boy, I did not think I would ever marry. I had nothing to offer a wife and no reason to think I'd ever have funds to support a family. These last few years, now that things are different, I have known that I might have little choice in my bride. If I married, it would be for the North, not for who I wanted in my bed. Not for love of anything but my people, though it might be that love could grow.
But you and me -- this is a choice, now.
If we are lovers in truth, or more than that, we should be sure of it.
I don't regret how I feel. That's where my guilt comes in, knowing there's the potential to hurt Jamie if, one day, at any point, he should arrive. But even that guilt isn't as big as how I've felt for you for centuries.
[ If that love was manufactured by the Singularity, then wouldn't it have dissipated along with everything else? She listens to him now and leans in to press her forehead to his tenderly, closing her eyes. Bringing their hands between them, she holds onto his hand with both of hers. They aren't married here, he's never been more correct that they have the opportunity to walk away cleanly. ]
I remember. Nights we talked out problems until sunrise, mornings we stayed lazily in bed mapping one another, the days of walks and exploring, solving problems together. I remember, and I'm sure. I want this, I want you.
[ Voicing it, these last three words especially, feels as though she's reaching for him across a gulf even though he's right in front of her. ]
[He holds her hands tightly, leaning against her forehead with his eyes closed. Her mouth is so close; they share the same breaths now, if one is truly breathing in the Horizon. He nearly kisses her -- wants to kiss her, moves his mouth to do it -- but stops himself in time.
When he speaks, his voice is low, hardly above a whisper, and his lips are almost against hers.]
In Nocwich. I want to see you in the flesh. If we both still want it, if you haven't changed your mind, if I can know in my heart that I am with my own woman and not some other man's, we will see each other there.
[He ought to move to leave, as tempted as he is, but he doesn't. It had been hard not to call her his wife, but she is not, not right now.
Sitting here with her like this, nearly kissing her, almost holding her, it's a taste of what he wants. All that really stands between them now is his worry that this desire is wrong -- that giving in to it might dishonor them both. Even so, it's all right to stay a while longer... all right when it's a beginning, and all right, too, when it might be a farewell.
Isn't it?]
Before then, there's something I want you to know. A few years before they brought me here, there was a mutiny. My own men stabbed me -- I don't know how many times. I have scars, ugly things, all over my chest and my belly. You haven't seen them.
[In their hundreds of years together, his face had been scarred, lines over each eye that were faint or deep depending on the day, but his chest had been smooth and uninjured.]
[ It's a comfort to be so close, and not have him pull away. She doesn't want to risk it now with a kiss, satisfied that he hasn't decided to walk away from her. It's why, even with her eyes still closed and her forehead pressed to his, she nods. ]
That's fair, Jon.
[ She pulls back enough so that she can look at him, holding his gaze while her thumb grazes his cheek. ]
I'll agree to that.
[ For some reason she hadn't expected any other confessions, but the more Jon speaks, the tighter her lungs feel in her chest. Mutiny, stabbing, scars. One hand drifts to his chest, pressing there through layers to feel the muffled beating of his heart. ]
I remember listening to this at night. [ Her forehead creases in pain at the image her mind conjures, of Jon being brutally attacked, his blood pooling out of him. It makes her feel nauseous, but she swallows the emotion back. ] You think scars are going to mean anything to me other than you lived? [ She shakes her head, and this time, her forehead comes to rest on his shoulder, a hug that isn't one, not yet. ]
[At first, he nods slowly: to her agreement, and to the way she looks at him in light of his confession, and her memory of resting against his chest, her ear to his heart. And when she leans on his shoulder, he leans his head against hers for a long moment, then pulls back slightly to explain.]
It's a long story. I will tell you more of it some other day.
For now, it's enough to say that I was Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. The men choose their Lord Commander, and the vote had been a narrow thing. When I made... an alliance with an old enemy, to fight a worse one... some disagreed. It was our only chance, but some disagreed. They had not seen. They did not know what we would face.
[He is now trembling, but only a little.]
The word of the Lord Commander should be law, and once a man is made Lord Commander, he is Lord Commander for life.
Claire, I didn't live. [It's hard to say this, but if she ever sees the scar over his heart, she will know. No man could survive that wound.] I was dead and cold on a table for two days until a priestess brought me back. I don't remember anything, but believe me when I say I was dead in truth.
[This might go some way to explaining his insistence, even through the years of their marriage, that he was not a god, only a man. Back at Castle Black, in his last days there, he had had to insist on it.]
[ The trembling isn't little enough to go unnoticed by her, and she aches to hold onto him. To take each scar, one by one, and claim them with her lips. It isn't the first time a love of hers has been scarred, and she wonders why Jon had to be hurt so deeply, on different levels. Instead of tugging him to her bed in the small Horizon home, or even kissing him to soothe, she simply takes one of his hands in both of hers and attempts to be an anchor for him, support. She thinks that's all of it, but then he continues, and she feels the breath hitch in her chest, hanging there painfully until she raggedly exhales. ]
Dead.
[ She repeats it slowly, thinking of those she knows who have told her if not for Abraxas, they would be dead. She thinks of vampires, of Louis, how death and the dead aren't what she'd come to believe. It's still difficult to wrap her mind around, that this man she loves was dead and could have been gone forever, might never have arrived here. Bending her head, she presses a very soft kiss to his knuckles, reassuring herself of his solidity and leaving behind a bit of dampness from a stray tear. He was hurt, murdered, and it makes her stomach ache. ]
I believe you, Jon.
[ She's straightened, looking at him again. She wants to pull him close, to love him, but she's made an agreement and she can only hope that in Nocwich, he'll let her take him in her arms. ]
[If he had not already begun to suspect that he has stayed longer than he should, it's the little kiss to his knuckle, her hot little tear on it, that would have told him. So at first, his only response to what she has said is a sober nod. What he has told her is something he has barely spoken of to anyone, and now that she knows, he is content to let it rest where it is.
Not much longer than a fortnight before they can go to Nocwich. If he doesn't leave here soon, there won't be a decision to be made; there will be only more kisses and more than that. And though he thinks he knows what his decision will be, and she likely knows from the things he has just said what it will be too, it would still be wise to take the time to be sure.
Even so, it is not easy to stand up and walk out a door right after such a confession as he has just made, so he does not. He takes a few slow, hard breaths, masters the trembling, masters the desire to linger here, holds her hand all the while.
Then he gives it a little squeeze and releases it. He places the flats of his hands on his thighs as if he's about to stand.]
I ought to be getting back. Send me your list of anything you need from the markets in Thorne; I have a little coin, as long as you can wait for them.
[Then he does push to his feet.]
Claire, one way or another -- whatever either of us decides -- we will see each other in Nocwich. All right?
[ There's a part of Claire that dares not hope, even if most of her does. Whether it should be wrong or not to hope for Jon is something she'll have to come to terms with, and she will. Just as she did two hundred years in the past. (At the very least, the choice of going back to Jamie has been taken away from her when she very much could have walked back to Frank.)
It's a comfort to her that Jon stays as long as he does, and when he stands, she stands with him, smoothing her hands down her stomach as he offers to purchase a few goods for her. She manages a small smile at that, one that curves her mouth but doesn't reach her eyes. ]
Thank you, I will. I can't imagine there will be much, but I'll let you know.
[ It isn't as if she has to escort him out, but she leads him to the door anyway, and once they're both at the entrance, she looks at him again. ]
We'll see one another.
[ She reaches out to lightly squeeze his hand again, offering another small smile. She struggles for a moment to say goodbye, not because she is, but because she has to choose her words carefully, not too endearing or loving the way they once were. ]
[He wants to stay there, like a fool, holding her hand, but he is at the door, on the threshold, already resolved to leave. So he gives her hand one last squeeze and releases it.]
Good fortune, Claire.
[And then, after a deep inclination of his head and a moment's hesitation, he's gone: away from her little house, and not long after, away from the Horizon, back to his bed in Thorne.]
[That doesn't surprise him: there is always someone to want any king or queen dead, even a good one. And Ellya had not been good. Not as cruel as she might have been, but far from the queen most would choose.]
It might well be. There was fighting and smoke in the royal wing of the castle. Guards sent us to safety — they would not let me stay and fight.
We are all in an undercroft with a warded door. Trapped, for now. We will work at getting out.
Lots of people around. Lots of maids. I may be able to come to the Horizon, but not for long.
[Everything that has happened in Thorne has been difficult, but at least he has the measure of the situation for the time being. For himself, and for Sansa, and the other Summoned and the people holed up with them, there are now only two dangers, neither immediate. One is that they run out of food or water before they can get through the door, and the other is that, when they get through the door, there is no safety on the other side.
He doesn't mean to tell Claire that. Let her think that all is well enough for him, for now; that it is only a matter of breaking through the wards on the door.]
But you're safe, for now? Anyone hurt?
I will send you a message when more people here are sleeping again. I can see you then.
[ She goes into detail about what she's seen, the injuries she's encountered. Claire's been on autopilot, slipping into a mode that's like a comfortable sweater, doctoring and patching up in a rhythm her hands are familiar with. ]
[Some time later, when many are taking an hour or two of rest, he sends her another message.]
If you are awake, I can see you now. I will come to you, unless you want Winterfell.
What would be better?
[He thinks to come to her to spare her the effort, and so that she might spend time in a place where she feels at home, instead of someone else's big castle. But he knows her well enough to doubt that she is sleeping, and if she chooses Winterfell, he can do little kindnesses that would be harder or stranger for him to do elsewhere.
He sits in a room, not able to do much. He has something a little like free time, though not the sort he would ever choose. If she has sat down at all in the time since all the trouble started, he would be surprised. He would lose a wager with himself. So, he thinks, it is better if he does what he can for her.]
[ It won't be difficult to slip away now that the chaos has dissipated and a sort of nervous calm has settled over everyone. The worst of the bites have been taken care of, there are people guarding the stores of food and driving back the random creatures in the tunnels. She has time now, there are plenty of healers working together, and someone will find her if she's needed. ]
[ And she is, true to her word. She's sure she looks like hell; he would win his wager with himself. She'd been sleeping like most others when everything started, and her hair is sloppily tied back to be out of her face with someone's random hairband. She only has the energy to get to Jon, not make her appearance better than what it is or change her clothing, so she arrives in the mismatched pants and blouse she'd thrown on straight out of bed, but at least wearing a small, weary smile when she sees him. ]
It somehow feels like years since I've been here, and yet not long at all since the last time.
[She looks beautiful. Seeing her like this, her silvery hair all tousled, dressed half like a man -- his face breaks into a helpless smile, and he feels like he's taken a blow.
This must be what love feels like when you can't always be with the one you love, he decides. He's only felt like this once or twice before, and the first time -- well, it had only lasted a moment or two. It's better not to think on it, because of what had come after. It had been in the middle of a battle, too.
He holds a hand out to her, not quite above the waist, as he takes the few steps in her direction.]
[ The moment he holds out his hand, it's as if she's pulled in by a magnet. Closing the rest of the space between them, her arms wrap around Jon's neck in a tight hug. Pressing her face into the crook of his neck, she takes a deep breath, then pulls back to hold his face in her hands. Letting her thumbs graze his cheeks, she's more relaxed now than she's felt in days.
Concern does flit across her features at the mention of his sister. ]
How is Sansa?
[ She doubts Jon would be here if anything was wrong, but she feels the need to ask anyway, at the very least to know she's alright. ]
[He holds her a little too long, breathing in the scent of her. It may be the Horizon, he may not really be able to bring her home to Winterfell, take her to the Godswood, make her his queen, but it feels real. She is solid and warm in his arms. When she pulls back and frames his face with her hands, he keeps her close.]
She's well enough. Resting now. Some took injuries on their way down -- spills, mostly -- but she did not.
Your people?
[His concern is genuine, but it is a pleasantry: two things at once. He cares how they are because they are people, and because she cares, but he also doesn't wish to spend too many of the few moments they have together speaking on it.]
[ There could never be too long; for all that this isn't real, it's enough to recharge her, fill her cup enough to keep her chin up a little longer. Even as she fills him in on the situation, her forehead is leaning in to press to his, closing her eyes and soaking him in. ]
There are pests living in the tunnels, they have a nasty bite, but they're being taken care of. We'll be alright.
[ That's enough for her regarding everyone else, her hands hold him tightly, voice wavering. ]
I hate the distance between us. I never minded the borders before, but now...
[ Now she has no way to get to him and vice versa; if something happened to either of them, how long until the other was informed? ]
[She can feel, rather than see, him nodding, all shaky, as he continues to hold her.]
I don't know if we'll get out. I think -- surely we must. It's only a door. But Istredd is in with us, and Ambrose is gone, I don't know where, and Strange and Yennefer. No one still in the castle can break the wards on the door, not yet. I don't know what awaits us if we do get out. I don't know what awaits you where you are.
[He doesn't know what else is coming. Gods willing, this is all, and it will be over soon enough, and they will be safe soon enough.
A firm, tight squeeze, and he kisses her hair before pulling back enough to look at her.]
Claire, I love you. Know that. I don't really want to be apart from you. I'll talk to you every day, if I can. [He means if he lives, though the situation isn't so dire as that -- not yet.] All I'll do is think of you -- it's bloody dull here. Stone walls everywhere you look. But for now, we have food, water, places to sleep.
[His bed is a hard piece of the floor, rather cold, but no matter.]
A message like today, and we meet when we can. All right?
[ Claire's hands attempt to soothe, fingers lightly moving through his hair. ] We don't know anything either, I don't know how long our food stores will last. But right now, we're alive. [ She wishes she had more, wishes she could share something vital with him, but it seems like they're all in the dark.
When he steps back, his words spark just a small smile before she nods and takes his hand, pressing her lips to his knuckles. ]
All I do is worry for you. I know you're a fighter. [ Meeting his gaze, she's so torn between being proud of him, of what she knows he would do for others, and being terrified, wanting to beg him to keep himself out of the fray. ] I love you. Even if I'm busy, I'll always respond with a word, at least. [ She can manage that, a quick safe until she can speak more. ]
There are enough children to keep me busy, but not busy enough to keep my mind off of you.
[ She loves a man who puts himself in the line of danger, as if her heart could actually take it if something happened to Jon. ]
[He gives her a slow nod, holding her gaze. Mostly, it's to drink in the look of her, so he can call her up in his mind in the coming days, see her whenever he wills whether they can both reach the Horizon or no.
It's a helpless sort of love, he decides. He has chosen her with clear eyes, a clear mind. Yet he also knows, looking at her, that he could not have done otherwise.]
I'll try to come here every day. If the children need you more, it's all right. If you can't get here, or if I can't, that's all right too.
Things get worse where I am, I'll let you know.
[The rest of the time they have here, he just wants to hold her, kiss her, feel her against him. Not the lovemaking that might happen otherwise, not today -- though that might come another day, depending how long each of them is trapped where they are, and how much time they can each find to spend here. But it feels good to hold her tightly in his arms. It feels right.
Because back in Thorne, he feels lost and small and frustrated, trapped, pinned to a point of inaction.]
[ Claire is doing much the same, breathing Jon in as one hand pushes through his hair. She has never been good at saying the words, but she's tactile and willing to show her love in other ways. She wants to be done thinking about how fucked their situation is, and she gives one more nod of understanding. ]
We'll do the best we can, and know that if I could be with you there, I would.
[ If she could get to Jon, she would in a heartbeat. Better to face what comes with him than apart, but of course, there's always a separation in her life. Tilting her head up, she finally closes the distance between them in a firm kiss to which she immediately yields, determined to get lost in him for at least a little while. ]
[And he is lost in her kiss -- feeling like he's not really trapped in an undercroft in Thorne, nor really in some dream of Winterfell in the Horizon, either, but in a place where it's just the two of them, and their love.
As they hold each other, it feels like haven enough for a time.]
Hi. I hope things in Solvunn are okay. Thorne's kind of messy, but Percy and I are fine. Do you have some time today or tomorrow to work in the Horizon?
[ She'd be internally screaming; hell, she already is, because technically her husband is a solider, and her literal lover is willing to fight, so her nerves are frayed. Annabeth is a good distraction, a very welcome one. ]
I mean, it's not good objectively, but I wasn't here long enough to leave any kind of impression on the old queen or court so I'm not worried there. It's intense, but I can handle it.
[ what's a coup to the pits of hell??? ]
[ ugh claire don't make her tell you she doesn't always sleep well. mornings are so hit or miss. ]
Sometimes I sleep in, but I can let you know when I'm awake tomorrow?
[ To Claire, sleeping in seems about age-appropriate; she isn't a morning person but trained herself to be and now she's used to it. A teenager sleeping in until noon brings back memories of raising her own. So, she really doesn't question it. ]
[ listen. she tells herself and percy that she's going to try and wake up at a decent time for breakfast, but she spends about an hour awake in the middle of the night so it's... probably just after 11 by the time she reaches out to claire again. ]
Morning. I can meet you at your domain in like a half hour or so, if that's okay. I'll be practicing regardless.
[ Claire is just wrapping up cleaning the small shed that Wrench briefly lived in. It's a somewhat sad task for her, one she isn't enjoying, but he's gone, and the space open again, even if she wishes it was still occupied. So, Annabeth has good timing, as it turns out, and she decides to stay right in her garden for this. ]
[ It's as Annabeth said, the eating isn't real, but she still enjoys going through the motions. And so, as soon as she's in her domain, she begins working on a batch of snickerdoodle cookies. It fills her cottage domain with the scent of warm vanilla, the front door wide open so that the smell of herbs and wildflowers intermingle with the baking. There's a gray cat in the window frame outside, swishing its tail and cleaning a paw when Annabeth arrives, jumping down gracefully and slinking out into the garden.
The cookies are just coming out of the oven in a half hour, and with the front door already wide open, it's no secret when company arrives. Looking up from where she's taking the tray of cookies out of her stone oven, she smiles broadly, proud of her for using the techniques they've practiced. ]
You've made it, welcome, Annabeth. It's a bit different from before.
[ Smaller; there's no spare room that used to be Percy's, for example. No backwoods that lead to a lagoon. The cottage is still as warm and homey though, with deep greens and blues on the walls. It isn't unlike her home in Solvunn, just a bit less than her actual dwelling. ]
[ she'd always liked claire's domain in the illusion, so she can't help but be curious what it'll be like in reality. [
[ annabeth likes what she finds just as much. she spies the cat in the window and barely resists the urge to chase after it - she should at least say hello to claire first. the door is open, so she raps once at the frame before slipping inside and immediately inhaling the smell of cookies. it brings sally to mind again, in conjecture with the warm space of the entire home - and that's what it feels like here. a home. at least, she assumes it's what a home is supposed to be like, given how much it makes her think of the jacksons'. ]
[ she thinks about the grandiosity of her own domain house and frowns, briefly, before brushing it aside and offering a small half smile. ]
It was a little easier to slip in this time. [ she shakes her head. ] It's still looks good though. I like the colors. Did I see a cat?
[ Claire's definition of home and what makes one is built around a life of never having a physical one, not until she was much older than Annabeth. Part of the reason she wants to sit and talk is to explain who she really is, and what her life has been like, not some made-up Singularity fantasy. Annabeth has let Claire in, and it feels like the right time to confide in return. ]
It will only continue to get easier from here. Before you know it, you'll be able to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and there you'll be. [ The cookies are placed on the counter and she nods. ] Thank you, dear. And you did see a cat. I didn't mean to call it into existence, I was being nostalgic and thinking about a cat I found in Cairo once. It was dehydrated and hungry, so I took it in, got it healthy and we had a little bond the rest of the time I was there. The Singularity must've decided I needed a companion.
[ She doesn't mind at all, though she's never named the cat. It's just there, and at times, comes inside to wind itself around her legs before leaving. Nodding toward the back door, she grabs a plate and begins transferring the cookies. ]
Now, should we go outside, or get comfortable on the couch?
[ Either way doesn't matter to her. ] And do you like coffee or would you like something different? [ The beauty of the Horizon is that there isn't any way to be a bad hostess, not when she can ask for anything. ]
[ it'll be reassuring to hear, when the time comes - that someone like claire struggled with the physicality of a home too. her eyes flicker briefly towards the window, like she's hoping the cat might come back, but the origin location of the feline catches her attention too. ]
You've been to Cairo? [ it's definitely on her bucket list. she, too, would probably end up attached to a stray should she ever end up in an old city for better reasons than the last one. ]
[ at the question, she peers around the house, like she doesn't know what's better. annabeth loves being outdoors, but there's something so cozy about this place that she sits on it for a few moments and goes for answering the latter inquiry first. ]
Coffee, please. [ it's much easier to look put together in the horizon, but annabeth regularly runs on bad sleep schedule and at least two cups of coffee a day. ]
Maybe snacks inside, then we can look around outside after? I can carry the cookies, if you want. [ she must be useful!! ]
I lived there for a little while when I was nine or ten. [ This is the easiest segue into her life, might as well start young, and she grabs two coffee mugs as she smiles fondly in remembrance. ] I found a cat and a cute boy, while my uncle was digging up artifacts. That was in nineteen...twenty-eight, somewhere in there.
[ With the living room decided on, Claire slides the plate of cookies over. ] Then that's what we'll do, and thank you. I'll be right behind you with the coffee. [ Busying herself with getting everything arranged on a tray, she knows it would be easier and certainly much faster to simply let the Horizon do all of the work. She likes it though, likes being busy with her hands, so in her own domain, she usually does the work.
When she gets to the living room, the tray is put down on the table in front of them, milk and sugar there if Annabeth wants it. Pouring the coffee, she picks up her anecdote about Cairo once she settles on the couch. It's cozy but not too deep so no one struggles to get up, the cushions a deep navy blue with dark wood trim. ]
If my memory's correct, we were in Egypt around sixteen months, and then we went somewhere in the East. It all blurs together a bit sometimes, we moved so often. I think that's why a home like this was the first thing that came to mind when I made it to the Horizon. It's a home I chose, something I had a say in.
[ It's the same with her home in Solvunn and why it means something to her. The home she lived in for 20 years raising her daughter never felt like her home. Frank picked it, Frank hired the decorator for it, Frank loved it. Frank brought his mistress there. It was never Claire's to sink roots into, she never wanted to be there in the first place. ]
[ she's glad to take the cookies, glad to have something to do with her hands as she tries to get comfortable with the welcoming nature of claire's house. it's familiar in some ways thanks to those fake eight hundred years, enough that annabeth feels like she knows how to go through the motions, but she wants to keep busy enough to avoid overthinking it anyway. ]
[ she sits on the couch and her attention darts to the mention of the year immediately. ]
I was wondering about that - if you were from another time compared to me. [ just little things claire had said, back in nocwich. ]
[ the other parts of claire's experience in the horizon are a little familiar too, though that much isn't born of illusions. isn't that what she's been trying to more or less do in her own horizon? figure out how to make a house? dare she say it, a home? she reaches for a cookie and shoves about half of it in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully while she shoves that out of her head and focuses on the curiosity of claire's seemingly adventurous life. ]
Did you always move around with your uncle? Was he an archaeologist or... [ wait, how can she be. polite about this. early 20th century archaeologists desecrated her mother's most famous temple. when annabeth finds you, lord elgin... she wrinkles her nose. ] Sorry, I promise I'm not trying to accuse him of being a thief. But I know what it used to be like.
[ Taking a cookie as well, she bites into it and nods as Annabeth comes to her realization. ] You know I used to hide it? Because somehow, a version of being taken to another place unwillingly has happened to me before, and I didn't want to mix up my own timelines. We'll get to that, and clearly I've relaxed about it. I didn't even notice I slipped.
[ She doesn't want to make things more confusing than they could possibly be, by jumping around her life. ] My uncle was an archeologist, someone's told me about a movie...Indiana Jones? Sort of similar from what I've been told, only, we stayed where we were once something significant was found, and worked with the locals to find out where it properly belonged.
[ Lamb had always stressed the importance of museums and artifacts staying in their location of origin, to stay where it was found to tell the story of an entire people. ] In return, I was given local tutors, taught the language and customs. It was my version of school from the time I was four until I was eighteen. Every continent except Antarctica, though not for lack of trying on Lamb's part.
[ It was unconventional, and she loved it then, but it didn't make things easy, and after a pause, she looks at Annabeth with a rueful smile. ]
I didn't do very well with others when I went to nursing school. I had to learn.
[ she lets the timeline remarks go for now, if only because claire essentially promises it will come up again. ]
[ annabeth finishes chewing her cookie, then gets settled into making her coffee. she dumps about three spoonfuls of sugar in it for extra sweetness, topping it off with a small pour of milk. she takes a sip and briefly closes her eyes. she's missed coffee. but she definitely nods approvingly as claire explains how they worked with locals. ]
I'm not sure how accurate Indiana Jones is to archaeology at all, but I'm sure the locals really appreciated your uncle's style. There was a lot of theft in the earlier years of it - and it still happens - as I'm sure you probably saw in the field.
My schooling's been a little unconventional too. [ commiseration! ] You're a nurse? [ she pauses, briefly thinking it over before she nods again. ] That makes sense.
[ Annabeth makes coffee the way the Doctor does; it took one of the more modern teens to explain a Starbucks to Claire, with all of the different coffee drinks that seem to her to be mostly sugar and milk. That's the future though, apparently, so she thinks nothing of it, only adding a little milk to hers. Then she nods seriously at the statement Annabeth makes. She makes a mental note to ask about her schooling, curious but acknowledging what was said. ]
We did see theft quite often. And of course, now there are so many museums on two continents filled with things that most certainly didn't originate there. I never knew how to feel about taking my daughter to the Smithsonian and its adjacent campuses at times, when I knew where things originated from, and where they should've been.
[ She remembers late nights of Lamb and his partner fretting, planning, sometimes arguing over it. Moving on and grabbing another cookie, this time Claire nibbles as she nods. Antiquities can always be circled back to. For now, she moves forward. ]
I was a nurse, then I went to medical school and became a surgeon. First woman to graduate Harvard medical. [ She says that with pride, will always mention it, because she overcame harassment, belittlement, sexism and misogyny, and she fought to be in the top of her class, to then go on to be the best trauma surgeon in the greater Boston area. ] I didn't think I would do any of that, to be completely honest with you.
[ Here, they finally come to a point where Claire feels she can segue a bit. ]
I'd decided on nursing school, and about halfway through, the second world war started. Everything was fast-tracked, there was no graduation ceremony. We were rushed through and shipped out, and I was on battlefields for five years or so. I was only a little older than you. [ Both of them having to do impossible things young; Claire knows but hates that Annabeth will understand, even keeping in mind that Annabeth is hardly a typical young woman. ] I was married, too. I'd known Frank for a while, he was a historian my uncle worked with. We were married around a month before he was shipped off, so I knew him, but I didn't know him.
[ sometimes she goes for a black coffee, when she really needs that caffeinated boost. ]
[ she's always known claire was certainly old enough to be a (mortal) mother, but she spins her life story and annabeth can feel the longevity it in, even if it's not objectively long. it's almost silly to think so after the stupid illusion, but she hears it and she wants that too. she wants to get older and not feel like even just eighteen remains a challenge to reach. ]
[ and she has a real daughter out there. ]
That's really impressive. [ she does not mean it lightly. ] My dad went to Harvard, so. [ gonna zoom past that quickly. ] I know how hard you must have worked, especially if you were the first woman in that program.
[ annabeth has never taken the advantages of her current era as a young woman lightly, especially when she sometimes still feels like she has to work extra hard to prove herself. ]
[ she's also very much been on the battlefield, though not in a medical capacity. she absently touches her arm, where a scar from a dagger wound peeks out from under her orange t-shirt sleeve. ]
Is that why you told me not to get married so young? [ it's half a joke, but it leaves the segue open to whichever direction claire wants to take it. ] It can't have been easy to be a surgeon at that time.
[ Claire smiles at the compliment, tucks away the knowledge about her father, and then takes a breath, letting it out softly. After tracking Annabeth's movement to her arm, her eyes drop to her coffee mug, lips pursed a bit in thought at the question. ] I think what you and Percy have is different—better—than what I had my first go at marriage. I think you have something that's much stronger, even at your age.
[ Annabeth is living a life that's nothing like Claire's was, she isn't marrying for assurance and peace of mind for a dying uncle instead of love. ]
I married young for the wrong reasons. I think the threat of war made a lot of people do things they may not have. I married Frank and then we both went our separate ways within...oh, about a year? War was declared and we both shipped off. And after, when we were changed by everything we'd seen and done through five years of hell—[ Claire looks at Annabeth and offers an almost sheepish one-shouldered shrug. ]—we were strangers again. And then I accidentally traveled in time.
[ Claire has told this story before, she isn't shy about it anymore, not when so many others have stories odder than hers. ]
I didn't choose to go, people here have explained that I must have stepped through an unchecked portal to the 18th century. I did choose to stay, though. I fell in love, which I hadn't counted on. It's how I realized I...respected Frank, I loved that he made me feel taken care of. But I wasn't in love with him.
[ She never knows what any given person will think; leaving a husband behind to wonder while she builds a new life so far away he couldn't have even fathomed it. And now, here she is doing it again in Abraxas. ]
I've seen the way you light up when you talk about Percy. [ She offers a warm smile. She never felt that, exactly, for Frank. ] I think it's wonderful.
[ annabeth can feel her face soften despite herself. she does want a long life with percy, but she also wants to take it day by day, to take it slow, and actually have the time to appreciate it all. maybe they'll be allowed to sit out the next war. but claire's not wrong. what she has with him already is stronger than anything she ever thought possible for herself, given the trajectory of people who have or were supposed to love her in the past. ]
He's... my best friend. [ it feels too simple, just like calling him her boyfriend never feels like enough anymore. he's her friend and her family and he is everything to her; she doesn't regret saying so to her mother, no matter the reaction it helped her earn. ] We have each other's backs. We always have and always will. [ a beat. ] Wars and all.
[ then five years of hell momentarily makes her blanch, but she swoops the coffee to her lips to take a sip to deter it - and almost spits it back out as claire casually drops the time travel comment. but at least the thoughts of tartarus that threatened to break in are abated. she stares at the older woman for a moment, surprised but thoughtful. ]
Accidentally traveled through time? How does that happen by - accident? [ how does that happen at all should be the real question, but she supposes it's all tied together. she says portal, but that could mean anything. ] Did you trip or something? Like, is this a common problem where you're from?
[ she'll come back to frank and the decision to stay in a minute, but she wants to understand more about the how first. it's just how she is. ]
[ She doesn't notice that her comment caused any sort of distress, even if momentary. She did expect questions and with Annabeth, she has no qualms about answering anything. Claire can't help but laugh softly in anticipation of her reaction because it is, truly, bizarre. ] So, full disclosure, I don't know how it works and I wouldn't have thought to call it a portal until speaking to others here.
[ Credit where credit is due, she understands more now than she used to thanks to the knowledge of others. ] I touched a rock. I was picking flowers and heard a buzzing sound, similar to a beehive. When I realized it was coming from a large rock, I reached out and touched it, and then everything went dark. I woke up, and after a lot of fear and confusion, it became clear I'd traveled back to the 18th century. Two-hundred years.
[ Claire takes a sip of her coffee, shaking her head. ] I don't think it was especially common, but it happened enough that a song was written about it. A ballad.
[ she makes a bit of a face over the rock comment, but ultimately just rolls with it. ]
I can't imagine suddenly being two hundred years in the past. [ the magic rock being the cause isn't that unbelievable, she supposes, when she thinks about the sheer number of chaotic magic items at home. ]
Was there a rock back then too, to go back home? I know you said you chose to stay, but... [ the idea of being stuck there is kind of alarming. ]
A ballad? [ she sounds especially curious about that. ] I feel like songs and poems can tell a lot more than people give them credit for sometimes, especially folk tales and oral history. Did you know it before you... time traveled?
Everything was quite literally the same, down to the rock. I woke up and had no clue anything was actually different. I was in pain, it was like...[ She pauses, trying to think of a good way to put it, always only able to come back to one thing. ] It was like being in a car accident, being tossed upside down and yet somehow still being contained. Hitting against something, being knocked about.
[ She's felt it each time she's traveled, worse every time. She shakes her head at Annabeth's question, thinking back to that night in Castle Leoch when she thought getting back to her time would be as easy as stealing a horse and riding away. ]
I didn't know it, but when I heard it, it gave me quite a bit of hope, because the woman in the ballad goes back to her own time after returning to the rock. That's all I wanted for so long, to just go home. But with no cars, and no easy way to travel as a woman on my own, I was captured almost immediately after I arrived. I thought I was in a war reenactment for about a day, I don't think my mind could accept the reality of my situation.
[ Claire looks around the her little horizon home, then exhales, shaking her head at herself. ] At least I adapted to this better. Although for a week, I wouldn't leave my host's house.
[ annabeth winces in sympathy. she might not have been in any car accidents, but she definitely knows the pains of being tossed around and knocked unconscious to the level described. she's had a surprising number of bad injuries. ]
Ow. Talk about a nasty side effect.
[ then she frowns as claire explains the notion and fears of being stuck, knowing how lucky she is to live in her own time, as a girl. she thinks about her father and how untethered she is to him, how different her life might have been even a hundred years ago. ]
I can't say I blame you for not getting it right away. I mean, who touches a rock and assumes they're getting sent back in time? [ she's been through plenty of difficult to process experiences, some of which she's still working through, but time travel isn't in her repertoire, and she'd like to keep it that way. ]
It sounds... difficult. I can't even imagine. And you still chose to stay, despite all that?
[ she follows claire's gaze as she looks around the house, her domain. ] I kind of wanted to nap for a week after getting here, so maybe hauling up upon arrival isn't that strange all things considered.
[ Claire thinks back to the moment she knew she was staying. It was a moment of realizing she'd loved Frank for the security he brought her, the basic decency of him (at first), but she wasn't in love with him. Not the way she fell in love with a man who gave up everything to rescue her. ]
I chose to stay because I fell in love. [ She looks down at her coffee cup, thumb lightly grazing the rim. ] It wasn't instant, but Jamie took care of me, and then to protect me with the name of his clan, he married me. I didn't want him, but I didn't want to be a prisoner on the grounds of being a spy, either. [ Her choices were limited, even in hindsight. She'd tried to escape on her own, and had been almost immediately captured by the worst possible man. ]
It took a while, but by the time he knew the truth of me and actually got me back to the stones, I realized I couldn't let him go.
[ Claire gives a helpless shrug and a small smile. It's the same with Jon now. After everything they shared together, her heart couldn't shut off hundreds of years of loving him. She's just glad he feels the same. ]
[ aphrodite would certainly find it romantic. annabeth supposes there's a part of her that thinks the same, even if she has a hard time imagining herself staying in the past with all her own ambitions. if it were for percy, it might be different - but either way she's glad it's not a choice she had to make. ]
[ there is no doubt in her mind that percy would stay with her though, no matter where she was. ]
[ and she can't help but offer claire a small smile of her own once she sees the expression on the woman's face. it's happy, and more than anything else, annabeth is just glad she was able to find a happiness. for all the kindness she's ever shown, illusion world or real one, she thinks claire deserves it. ]
What if he went with you instead? Was that an option?
[ Claire's smile falters just a little; it's impossible not to think of Culloden, of Jamie detouring to take her back to the stones against her will, and her desperate hope once she realized, that this time he would hear them, that he would come back with her. ]
He couldn't. He touched the rock and it was just a rock. But christ, I hoped. I hoped all the way to the stones something would happen. [ She gives a slow shrug of her shoulders, because she has no answers for that. ] We'd been at war, one I already knew Scotland would lose. I tried to change history, like a fool, but of course, I failed. History is history. [ Claire closes her eyes, remembers how hollowed out she felt the moment she woke up alone in the future, no sounds of cannon fire around her, no Jamie. Just the distant sound of traffic and a parting gift from her husband. ] I was pregnant, and we'd already lost one child. I had to go. I had to.
[ Her voice comes with a slight waver; it feels like an abrupt end to the story, she knows it. But even now, she can't go into some details despite knowing they're all together in the future past, her entire family, at least for a little while. The way she felt then, as if she were in a black hole of grief she could never quite pull herself all the way out of, it's too emotional to remember for long. ]
I don't—[ She clears her throat and wets her lips. ]—I don't talk about that part much. The leaving. Mostly because I ended up going back twenty years later, after Frank died and I realized Jamie survived the battle. It's easier to skip ahead, sometimes.
[ she frowns, sympathetically. there's a lot here annabeth can't even begin to imagine going through, and she's not sure she wants to try. she has plenty of her own shit to keep sorting through. but she can still feel for claire and the apparent chaos of time travel. ]
So the time traveling rock is picky. [ her tone is disdainful in a way meant to try and inject levity. she can see the way talking about it affects claire, and she doesn't really know if now's the time to offer a hug. she's better at figuring that out with people she knows well - and even though part of her still feels she does know claire, it's different. annabeth is working on it. ]
You don't have to talk about anything to me you don't want to. [ she hesitates a moment, but reaches out to give claire's arm a squeeze. ]
Twenty years? Was it the same time for him too? Or did you end up where you left off? [ she pauses. ] Was it - was that your daughter you mentioned before then?
Very picky. And we can't quite figure out everything it takes to go back and forth. I just know it's more difficult each time. [ Claire would rather go in the direction of levity, of lighter as soon as they can get there. Annabeth's gesture is met with a small but warm smile, and Claire covers her hand for a moment with her own.
She appreciates her words, and in truth, she wouldn't be telling Annabeth if she didn't trust her, didn't want to try and build something close to what they all shared. It felt nice, to be connected to others, a feeling that she's lacked for most of her life. ]
Twenty years for each of us. When I went back...well. We'd been apart longer than we'd ever known one another. It was awkward. And yes, it was Brianna, our daughter. I raised her, and then she encouraged me to go, to find Jamie again.
[ That feels like a happy note to end on, and not an untrue one. She can't believe sometimes that it's been nearly four years since she's seen her daughter, but Claire shoves that aside and reaches for another cookie. ]
If it gets harder every time, do you think that means one day it might be impossible? [ the question is out before she really thinks about stopping it - she's prone to idly musing aloud on her best and worst days. she does look vaguely apologetic after, because it probably is something claire might have considered, and annabeth doesn't want to make her think of the bad things. ]
[ she lets the whole story sink in for a few moments, processing it as she is wont to do, and idly sipping her coffee as she does, to give her something to do with her hands. it was bad enough being apart from an amnesiac percy for half a year thanks to hera's meddling. she can't fathom twenty years. she doesn't want to. ]
It's really complicated and wildly crazy... almost unbelievable, if we weren't sitting in another world already. [ she pauses. ] Thank you, for sharing it with me.
[ even without the nuances and details, she still appreciates the sentiment of learning this very big part of claire. it does explain a lot. ]
Did you find him again? Before you got pulled here?
[ Claire nods slowly as she chews a bite of the cookie. Once she swallows, answers thoughtfully. ] I think so. Which is why I won't ever try again. When I left Bree, I told her it would have to be forever. It wasn't easy to do. [ But in the end, she'd wanted everything with Jamie that was denied to them, to live the last half of her life the way she wanted.
Reaching out, she gently squeezes Annabeth's arm with her free hand, a look of warmth softening her gaze. ] I know who we are or were to one another other can be confusing right now. Sometimes it's a bit hard to reconcile, even now. But I believe we'll all figure it out. And I wanted you to know the real me, not what the Singularity made me into.
[ When Annabeth asks about a reunion, Claire nods, thinking back to the print shop, to the moment Jamie looked up and saw her, then promptly passed out. ] I did find him, yes. We spent a year and some months together before I was here. And now I've been apart from him again longer than we were reunited.
[ But she isn't sad about it this time. She can't go through all of that sadness and grief she just explained to Annabeth, a second time. She nearly did, stayed holed up, wrote to Jamie as if she were a prisoner of war. But then she made friends, she met others. She discovered magic. and so she's able to smile now, in a way that makes the corners of her eyes wrinkle. ]
But I've found a family here, and the friendships I think I've been looking for my entire life.
[ she doesn't quite know how to feel about that, but it's a far more complicated story than annabeth can truly understand, so she tries not to let her own struggles with parental abandonment color it. perhaps she simply wouldn't be surprised if her father left; in some ways, he'd been gone already long before she'd even run away. ]
Did Bree always know her dad was... in the past? [ that seems like the best way to phrase it. ]
[ but she does understand the desire to be known as herself, and not the god she became. annabeth doesn't want to be that person, even with all her own imperfections now - she doesn't want to transform into another version of her mother. she offers claire a small smile and a nod over it. ]
When things are confusing, we just have to... try and sort the pieces. I'm not that person either. Maybe if we think about it like a three dimensional puzzle...
[ a puzzle of people and emotions. but if she thinks about it like a problem to solve, it feels easier. ]
[ oh. annabeth hasn't found here what claire says she has - family and friends - but she does understand the wanting feeling too, so much so that she suddenly doesn't question why claire would like being here, despite the life she'd led back home. ]
I'm glad you've been able to settle in this place. After everything you've been through, you deserve a little peace.
[ Claire doesn't know how to feel about it either. She hadn't suggested going back at all, it was Bree, but it would be a complete lie to say her heart hadn't surged in her chest right then and there, already halfway to the past. Annabeth's question makes Claire look down which may be answer enough; for better or worse, she'd lied to Bree her entire life, and Claire faced the consequences of that. ]
No. No, she didn't know until Frank died because he forbade it. He had a condition for taking me back. [ She hated Frank for this for so long, but now it just makes her sad for herself, and for Bree, because it might've made things so much easier if she could've raised her daughter alone and peppered anecdotes about Jamie all through her life. Had Frank said yes to divorce any of the times Claire asked, she may never have been a doctor, but maybe her relationship with Bree would've been better. ]
He made me promise I would never speak of Jamie or the past ever again. Not to him, and never to Bree. He would love her and claim her as his, support us, and put me through medical school if I agreed. I asked for a divorce first, but he quickly pointed out I had nothing. After three years in the past, he had control of all the money. I never had a home of my own, I had no family and I was pregnant with nowhere to go. [ What else was she going to do? They both knew even when she asked, she couldn't refuse him. ]
He took everything I was wearing when I returned, everything in my pockets, which included little notes from Jamie, and he burned it to ash. The only thing he let me keep was Jamie's ring, and only that because it was simple silver, made out of a melted-down house key. So there was nothing. Nothing to show for what happened to me except for scars and Brianna herself.
[ And, as Bree so wonderfully pointed out, trying to tell the truth only made Claire look like a 'bored housewife who fucked another man.' Still, she's able to rally and offer Annabeth a small smile. ]
This entire story is why once happiness presented itself here—even with what I have waiting if we're ever forced to leave—I had to take it. I can't ache for something that might not ever be, or could be in two decades. Not again. It's exactly as you said, I deserve a little peace.
[ Which is easier for her to admit because Annabeth said it first. ]
[ the more claire describes frank, the more annabeth's face twists with disgust. she understands societal rules and expectations of different times, but it hardly sounds like jamie was this much of a dickhead and he was from the fucking 1700s. she is aware there could be plenty claire isn't touching on, but she will remain solid in her negative views of frank. she knows and likes claire. she doesn't care what frank was thinking with the context of everything claire has been through. ]
What an asshole.
[ she indignantly shoves another cookie in her mouth to stew on it, to settle with the smile claire offers at the end of it all in the face of the happiness she's managed to find here. it's a far cry from the more mature advice she might have offered claire in the illusion, but it's the truer annabeth version of support. she nods at the older woman's affirmation that she deserves it. ]
As peaceful as things can be in this place, I guess. There's a certain reprieve it offers, in spite of everything.
[ she once told claire she really appreciated thorne's beds, so she supposes she understands that experience of not taking the good of this place for granted. ]
figured we could probably wrap with your next tag?
[ Annabeth's assessment pulls an abrupt laugh out of Claire, a spit take if she'd had a mouthful of coffee. Luckily not, and she laughs until her side aches. ]
Truly, I've waited so long to hear someone else make that exact statement. Thank you, it feels validating in a way I can't explain.
[ She takes a deep breath that feels nice and cleansing and lets it out. ] We'll see how long the peace actually lasts. But I will say that here, I've been less afraid for myself as a woman. That alone is a reprieve from the 18th century.
[ With about half a cup of coffee left, she nods toward the back door. ] Would you like to go look now?
[ yes! she made claire laugh! that's a win! it's a good grade in making adults laugh, which is both reasonable and normal to want to achieve. ]
[ she grins, a little warmly, pleased to have made claire feel a little better too. ] Well, it's true. You're welcome.
[ she exhales a little, and opts for another semi-joke instead of dwelling on the horrors of a misogynistic past. ] Plenty of other dangers besides sexism here to contend with instead.
[ annabeth nods, draining the last of her own coffee. ] Yeah. I really wanna see what it normally looks like.
[ she's still just happy claire wants her around. it feels nice. ]
[Early in the morning, after the dust has (literally) settled and John has managed to clean himself up at least somewhat. He does not know whether Claire has seen Willeโs announcement but he figures that he owes her his own message directly before he even attempts to think of sleeping, especially given how worried she had been for him previously.
But if she had been so concerned then, what can he possibly say to put her mind at ease nowโฆ]
[ She knows. She knows and it is by sheer will power she hasn't sent John fifty different messages. If she'd been a reason for his distraction in a moment of needed concentration and he was hurt or worse—she'd kept her silence, stomach turning not just for Lord John, but her Jon as well.
As soon as John's message comes through she stops what she's doing, sinking down onto the nearest seat. ]
[She is not wrong. And she knows him too well, damn the woman. John shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath as he considers whether it is better to hold back the gory details or simply tell her the truth. Neither he supposed will help her feel better in the end.]
[ There is nothing remotely chill as the kids say, about her response. It's partially due to the fact that in the moment, she can't control what goes through her mind and sends, she loses track of her filter, and so a litany of things come through all at once.
John will know that in person would have been no different. ]
[He most definitely did hit his head, hard, at least once, but heโs definitely not going to tell her that and have her worrying about it when thereโs nothing she can do about it from where she is. Though he wishes he could have had his wounds tended to by her far more caring hands, if only for sentimentalityโs sake.]
[ It hardly seems worth mentioning, and she knows he likely wouldn't find out on his own, but if she's to expect his honesty, she must give the same in return. ]
[ Hopefully that keeps him from imagining the worst, she was almost never alone, with plenty of healers keeping an eye out even when she doesn't realize. ]
[John understands that he probably should have told her about all of this sooner. But he also had reasoned that doing so would only cause her to worry when there would not be a lot that could be done from afar. And in his position, it's easier to wait until he knows that things are more settled and he's not in any more immediate peril, then simply beg her forgiveness for having withheld the information from her for this long.
In his defense, he feels as though he has burdened enough people already.]
[ Claire is typically in her garden no matter the time of day, and now is no exception. She stands up straight, on high alert and ready to help, assuming this is a call to action, a forewarning about an incoming attack, perhaps. ]
[He had known that a message like this would alarm her. Part of the reason he had waited until after the fact to send it. He can read her alert in her message and does his best to try and be as calming as he can be, given what he is about to share.]
[John chews on a lip, uncertain exactly where to start first. It had not been an easy decision, not because he does not want to be here (of course he does), but because he knows what he is leaving behind. He knows the potential danger he is putting himself and all those others that have helped him get this far in, in aiding his passage.
Thus far, he has not run into any trouble. But that does not mean that there will not be any. He is effectively a deserter, and that concept does not particularly sit well with him either.]
[ And that is why, in her heart as it has been shaped by this world, she doesn't see herself leaving Abraxas unless forced. Let the version of her living the life John experienced, have it. She misses Bree, but as far as she knew when she touched the stones, she was always going to spend a lifetime missing her daughter. Here, there is a freedom she can't deny. A freedom for everyone, and it means something to know John has found that freedom in his relationship with Geralt. ]
[John cannot help but feel his heart lightening at Claire's response. Not that he had feared that she would disapprove of his choices, but the fact that she does not, that she supports him in it, it means quite a lot. Claire may not have the same shared experiences as he has with her, but their friendship still means a very great deal to him even so.]
[Climbing the creaky stairs, Daisy's hand hovers at the door to Claire's bedroom for a moment. She isn't sure what time it is, exactly, but it's still dark out. It could've just been a weird dream she's just had, but her gut tells her it's more than that.
Quietly, at first, Daisy knocks on her door.]
Claire?
[When she doesn't answer, she opens the door as quietly as she can. Of course, the door squeaks louder than she'd like it to.]
[ Claire's gotten used to Daisy by now, finding it oddly comforting to have both her and Michael nearby. Claire's on her side, hair casting a faint glow in the room. When she stars awake and sits up, the soft moon-like light bounces on the walls and she squints, blinking as concern laces her voice. ]
Daisy? Are you alright?
[ She turns to look at the window; not even a hint of sunlight yet, and she reaches out a hand, lighting a lantern with the tips of her fingers by using general magic she's book-learned. Adjusting the flame on the wick, she motions for her to come in all the way. Claire's in her shift, and she adjusts her legs so that Daisy can sit.
The opposite side of the room is her 'office' of sorts, where there are scattered papers, more plants, and a window overlooking the garden. ]
[Her heart hammers in her chest when Claire says her name, the feeling of knowing something that she probably shouldn't eating away at her. At the same time, however, Claire's voice doesn't give Daisy the sense that she also experienced the same thing. Which leaves her feeling ridiculous for even coming up here, much less waking her up.
She's tempted to tell her it's nothing and just go back downstairs, but there's that nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her not to.]
I'm--
I had weird dream.
[God, she feels stupid. Wringing her hands together, she walks into the room and takes a seat on the edge of her bed. Looking at Claire, her brows furrow together. Just moments ago she had been looking at her, visibly younger. There's no way she could've just dreamed this.]
[ It isn't until Daisy says Bree's name, that Claire remembers the shared dream, a moment she began to forget as soon as soon as Daisy woke. For Claire, still asleep, she'd started to fall into something dreamless, the experience fading. Now, it comes back, visibly drawing in a breath in shock before exhaling. ]
Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.
[ She swallows, rubbing a hand over her face for a moment. ]
What do you remember?
[ Claire already knows the answer, she's just buying time. ]
[That phrase echos in her mind, remembering her saying that exact thing in her living room. A living room that doesn't exist, and one she's never seen before. It's like a punch to the gut, knowing that it was somehow real.
At her question, Daisy has to look away. Knowing that, somehow, she had witnessed a very traumatic and vulnerable time in her life.]
All of it.
[Swallowing thickly, she looks back to her after a moment.]
[Shared dreams. The idea of it leaves Daisy feeling vulnerable, fearing that the same might happen to her. Her past is something she keeps close to her chest, and the mere thought that she could lose control of what is and isn't told makes her panic.
Numbly, she gets to her feet as she follows Claire out of her bedroom.]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have woken you.
[She shouldn't have said anything at all, because now she knows something Claire wouldn't have told her otherwise. Wrapping her arms around herself, she can't help but look at her in a new light.]
You got anything stronger?
[Because with this new knowledge that her memories/dreams aren't safe from others, she needs something stronger than tea.]
[ at some point over the wintertide & solstice season, arriving shortly before their invitation and arrival to the nether, claire will find a package delivered to her in solvunn, containing a handmade knitted gift for the celebrations. ]
wrapped neatly and tied with a bow, please find inside a blue and green patterned scarf. there's only a short note that simply reads:
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
โ the week of 2/20
๐๐ช, ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ! ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ.
[ The last thing she wants to do is cause any alarm, but she has to know that the older woman is okay. The one bright side to this feature is that itโs just text, and Claire will be unable to detect the strain or anxiety in her thoughts. ]
no subject
Hello, Hilda. I'm doing fine. Is everything alright?
[ She's only heard the faintest whispers of something happening, but it's not much, and so she's only asking in a general way, from being contacted out of the blue. No one ever contacts her out of the blue, even at home, with good news. ]
no subject
[ Relief floods her watching Claireโs neat handwriting appear in her vision. Fine is good. Fine meant she was still in one place and safe. Fine meant one less person to potentially worry about, but then again, Hilda isnโt certain when this nightmare will end. ]
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆโ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด โ ๐๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ญ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ. [ Another beat before text flies, unbidden and a little bit accidentally. ] ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐บ๐ญ๐ท๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ.
no subject
Missing?
[ She'd heard whispers, but nothing like this, nothing that gave her concrete information. ]
When did you last see them? And what can I do?
[ As far as Claire knows, she can't travel freely between cities to help look, which is frustrating. ]
no subject
[ She doesnโt respond for a little bit, trying to figure out how to respond to Claireโs second question. She wants to say a hug, but instead she goes with โ ]
๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆโ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ. ๐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ข๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ข๐ง๐ฆ.
no subject
Whether or not you've heard from them, let me know by this evening, will you? I don't know what I can do, but at least you won't have to think about it alone.
[She's going to keep her ears open, more than usual, for things that sound like disappearance. Her eyes will follow suit, to be sure she doesn't fall prey to whatever's taking these people. ]
no subject
[ A part of her wants to let everything else spill out that she's been feeling but the superstitious part of her worries that if she voices them, they may come true. But with Sam's post about the missing Summoned reports rolling in, it's becoming increasingly more difficult not to worry.
So instead she pushes through though in her usual fashion. ]
๐'๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ช๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต๐ด. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ. ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ฆ.
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[ Alarm bells are starting to ring in her head; something is coming, something is happening, and she can't help but wonder how bad it will be. She always goes to the worst-case scenario so that she can mentally plan what might be needed. In that fashion, she gives Hilda's question thought. ]
๐ผ๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐ค๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐โ๐ก ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐. ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ก ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ถ๐๐๐กโ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ , ๐ ๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐โ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก, ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ค๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐คโ๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐ก'๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ก.
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[ She's nodding, reaching for what will soon become her ever present notebook over the course of the next several weeks. It all sounds a lot like what they'd have to pack back home, but focusing on something that isn't worry is what she needs right now. ]
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฃ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด. [ Claude normally did most of the shopping since he frequented Nadine's store more than she did but she supposes she'll have to do it in the mean time. But speaking of... ] ๐๐ฉ! ๐๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ, ๐ช๐ต ๐ฎ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ โ ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ค๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
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[ Anything and everything usually does happen, but she catchers that thought before it becomes a message. ]
๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐. ๐๐๐โ๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐. ๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐โ, ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐ ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐๐.
[ Claire files away the information about Cadens. If she could get there, it'd be more helpful. But still, the name Nadine is committed to memory. ]
๐ผ๐ ๐ โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐๐๐?
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๐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ฆ. ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ข ๐จ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ข ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ช๐ฏ! ๐๐ข๐บ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ...๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ต ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต!
[ That way she'd know for sure that it was Claire. Not that she thinks people are impersonating other people out here or anything. ]
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ; ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ด ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฃ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
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๐ด๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
[ There's no telling what may or may not happen, Claire's starting to feel as if things might be more unpredictable than she thought, even after all the people she's spoken to. ]
๐ผ๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ โ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ข๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐, โ๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก. ๐ผ๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ธ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ค.
[ When Jamie was missing, all the times they'd been forcefully separated, it was nearly impossible to think about anything else. It's right now that Claire has disdain for the lack of ability when it comes to traveling between settlements; she'd invite herself over to watch over Hilda and keep her company if she could. ]
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[ A little prickle of comfort ripples through her at Claire's suggestion, in part because it landed and hadn't been deemed as silly or ridiculous. ]
๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ต'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ถ๐ด ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ. ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ง๐ถ๐ด๐ด.
[ Hilda loved a little trouble as much as the next person, but her taste for politicians throwing a little fit about where Summoned arrived and where they went wasn't her cup of tea. ]
๐๐ง ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ. ๐๐ต ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฐ. ๐๐ฉ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ด๐ข๐บ: ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ.
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๐ผ'๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ก. ๐ด๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐ค๐๐๐, ๐๐ก'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
[ But she takes pride in those laugh lines around her eyes and mouth. She may not have had much laughter, but when she did, she likes to think it was enough to imprint itself on her. So that in times like these, when she's alone and far from family, she can be reminded with a glance in the mirror. ]
๐๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ป๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ฃ๐๐โ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐กโ๐๐๐. ๐ผ๐ ๐ผ ๐๐, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ค.
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The bit about wrinkles trips her up slightly and for a moment she's worried that she's offended her, talking so carelessly about something that she may or may not actually be worried about some day. But her next message doesn't betray any sort of indication otherwise so she tries to gracefully save herself from her brief trip. ]
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ท๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ข๐บ๐ด. ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด.
[ Faintly, she hopes that she can live long enough to have those. ]
๐'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ธ, ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ!
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[ Her affection for Hilda is already strong, and now, she's worried about anything happening to her, but she knows the messages must pause for now. ]
๐๐'๐๐ ๐โ๐๐ก ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ค, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐.
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I just wanted to let you know I've been granted permission to visit Solvunn to help with the situation there. I'll be bringing you equipment and supplies, it's all approved.
I've made a list of everything you mentioned already, but if there's anything else, let me know. I'll try and bring it.
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๐โ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐ค๐ ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ . ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ๐ก ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ค ๐กโ๐๐๐๐ , ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ โ๐๐๐, ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐.
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Blankets we can do. And I've loaded up every kind of medicine I could think of that might be needed.
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[ It might seem like Too Much from another, but Claire means it genuinely and gratefully. ]
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I'll see you soon.
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[Because, you know, office parties.
Anyway, hello! Guess who didn't bump into you in the Feywilds or anything.]
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There was no shortage of awkward small talk. [ Riffing off of his message, she remembers the boring attempts at casual conversation at the hospital of her past. ] It's good to know I'll always be rubbish at that, even with a mask. You made it through alright, then?
[ She has no clue it was him who
creepilyguessed her identity, she's so bad at this. ]no subject
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I didn't mind the rest of it, but even I have to admit the ball was a bit much.
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[He posted my thoughts on the matter and found people resistant to the idea it wasn't all above board. He knows she likely caught it in passing. No need to repeat himself.]
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What I enjoyed much more was exploring the area we could, while we could. It's a shame we don't know when we'll be able to return, if ever. That part I wouldn't mind again.
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Yes, I too enjoyed the luxurious accomodations. Unfortunately, their imposition of bunkmates put a dampener on the whole deal. Sometimes I felt they were having a laugh at our sense. Faeries are known for practical jokes, after all.
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I do value my own space, that was a bit of a letdown. And being tall didn't help my comfort any, but that part I can't fault them for. It isn't as if they have many residents my height, from what I gathered.
Maybe they were laughing at us, I certainly felt like a fool at the ball in my dress. I'll be happy to never do that again.
[ She dressed up to play the game, but at the end of the day, it just wasn't her thing. She doesn't mind fancy parties and dressing up—this wasn't it. ]
Did you have nice enough roommates at the very least?
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[Living amongst others? Not his thing.]
When accustomed to living alone, the last thing one expects are roommates. Like you said, I'll be happy to never do that again.
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[ She wonders if he reached out for any particular reason, not that she doesn't mind chatting. In fact, she thinks it's rather nice he's 'called' so to speak. ]
It's fortuitous that you reached out. I have a few things to share about the plant life, if you have a moment? Unless you called for more than gossip about the Fey.
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Boredom, then?]
Ah, I'm all ears.
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I had someone with healing magic accompany me, and so I was able to test plants on myself to see if they did what I thought they would. Quite a few were rather benign, but there were a few that caused symptoms of distress nearly immediately. Sweating, nausea, that sort of thing.
[ Poor Michael. He had to see and heal some things. ]
It seems as though more of their plants have defenses against predators than I've seen in Solvunn.
[ Which means possible medicinal uses if she could ever get her hands on them. ]
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[Alas, it would have cost everything, and his priorities lie elsewhere.]
Do you favour meeting to discuss work sometime? I should have the appropriate facilities the next time you call.
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[ Perhaps if it had been out of a territory already occupied by Summoned she would have risked it, but the relationship with the Fey seemed too tenuous. ]
I would like that, very much. I'd enjoy seeing you more in your element.
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Well, let's set a date, preferably on the weekend. Would you prefer the afternoon or evening?
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[ Which she actually doesn't mind; it should have been her life, after all, so she's living it here. ]
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Well, or until next week.
[Which he doesn't advocate at ALL.]
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[ He can't tell, but she's smiling in amusement. ]
Well, don't twist my arm...
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Sorry, bad joke. I'll leave the lights on.
[He's not sorry at all.]
โ the evening of 7/24
And, well - the gift giver isn't currently talking to him in something that's mutual so while he should probably also thank her at some point, Claire's who he reaches out to first. ]
I hear you're the reason I'm sitting here looking at something resembling my favorite pine trees. Thank you for that thoughtfulness since it's been far nicer to look at something from home that isn't only in the Horizon than I could've ever guessed it'd be. Was this from the power you'd told me about?
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๐น๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐, โ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ฆ, ๐ถ๐๐๐ข๐๐. ๐ผ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข, ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐คโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ก ๐๐๐๐กโ?
๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ , ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ . ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ, ๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ . ๐ผ'๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐.
no subject
And trust me, no matter how it came about it's still well appreciated as is your ambition. I'll be sure to keep it in a safe spot.
[ There's a pause then as he considers something else in what Claire's told him which hadn't occurred to him before now as a possibility. ]
And I think I have a request of my own, if you don't mind and of course only if you'd have the time for it. I promise there'd be far less deadlines involved too, if that also helps.
no subject
[ She isn't even sure if she likes the sound of that, but the offer is there. Coffee is fine, she doesn't mind it, but she's so British. Claude's piqued her interest, and Claire can't help but want to know more. ]
๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ฆ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
no subject
And... I'll confess that this isn't the most original idea I've ever had, considering what you've already created. Hilda's birthday was a few months ago and I'd looked everywhere for one of her favorite flowers called anemones. The closest I could find was a scarf with a rather abstract pattern, but it wasn't quite what I'd hoped. If there's any way a real version of that could be created, I'd be grateful. Well, even more than I already am for what you've done already.
no subject
๐ผ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐.
[ It surprises and warms her that he's asking this of her; will she gain a reputation as the old plant lady? She certainly hopes so. ]
๐โ๐๐ก'๐ ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ๐ก๐๐ข๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข, ๐ถ๐๐๐ข๐๐; ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก. ๐น๐๐๐ ๐ก, ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐ผ'๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐, ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐กโ๐๐ฆ'๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐ .
[ She has to actually draw it out to make it appear in her message as well, but soon, different doodles began appearing. ]
๐๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ? ๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ด๐๐, ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐...๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ?
no subject
Those look just like them! I'm glad you know of them as well since that means you're spared my poor scribbling of flowers in your sight. The colors Fodlan had included red, pink, purple, and white from what I remember. Any such color would do, but pink would be most fitting.
And... [ At that his writing visibly trails off while he thinks. It takes a solid minute or two, but it does eventually resume. ] I don't mind you asking, but I don't think that's the case. At least not yet. But - I think this might go a little ways in helping.
no subject
๐ผ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐โ ๐๐ข๐ก. ๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐, ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ โ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก. ๐โ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก? ๐ด๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐ค ๐๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ก? ๐โ, ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก?
no subject
[ For both the offer and the flowers, but the latter is what he'll continue on with. ]
As nice as a bouquet would be - and it absolutely would be - I think the potted plant would be my preference if it wouldn't be too much more trouble. Something for more blooms later on, you know? And I know that Hilda will enjoy it that much more if it lasts since it'll be something from you as well.
no subject
๐โ๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โ, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก. ๐ด๐๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ, ๐ค๐ ๐ โ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ โ, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐'๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐ฆ ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐ . ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐คโ๐๐ ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐ง๐๐.
no subject
[ Or for Hilda to appreciate it, since too late Claude realizes putting 'we' on that is a bit of an assumption he's not sure he's entitled to. His hope Hilda will enjoy it, though, is very real. ]
That all sounds like a wonderful plan to me. I'll look forward to both. Thank you again, Claire.
no subject
[ ooc: this is what I had in mind! It will be a happy cherry on top that she gets so many in one go! But there's also something more like this which is a little tamer :D ]
โ sometime near the end of july
๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ ๐ฎ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐น๐ต ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐'๐ฎ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ค๐ธ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ.
no subject
๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ค ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐'๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ค โ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐.
no subject
๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ ๐ญ๐ช๐ป๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ. ๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐จ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต.
no subject
๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ผ'๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ โ๐๐ค ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก ๐กโ๐๐ก, ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก โ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ก ๐๐๐๐กโ ๐๐ โ๐'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ.
no subject
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐'๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ.
no subject
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๐โ๐๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ก ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐, ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐โ๐๐๐. ๐ผ'๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
no subject
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ง ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ? ๐๐ด ๐ช๐ต ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ณ๐บ ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต?
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[ She tries not to think about it, the fact that this is like putting down roots in a place she never meant to be, and all without her family. ]
no subject
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต'๐ด ๐จ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ข ๐ค๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ค. ๐๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐น๐ต ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ค๐ธ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ, ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ. ๐๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ป๐ฐ๐ฏ?
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๐ด๐๐ ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ฆ, ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ .
no subject
๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ข๐บ, ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ๐ต, ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ? ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ!
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[ She still has some imagination, and she likes imagining herself silver-haired with plants and grandchildren one day. No grandchildren here, but she might have everything else. God help her if she's still here when her hair goes completely silver. ]
๐๐๐ค, ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โ๐๐๐. ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ. ๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก, ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ง๐๐๐. ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐คโ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐? ๐๐, ๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ฆ. ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐ โ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐'๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐๐โ.
no subject
[ And if she does go silver one day, Hilda can help her dye it if she feels so inclined to. That being said, Hilda is under the impression that whatever hair colour Claire chooses to wear is one she could pull off. ]
๐๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ! ๐๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ. ๐๐ฏ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ต, ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐บ ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ต๐ต๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ. ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐บ.
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[ Short of blaring hard rock and being a general pest, which Hilda most certainly is not. ]
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[ That sounded like more dirt - and work - than Hilda preferred to have in her life. ]
๐๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ๐ง๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ - ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ด๐ฐ๐ญ๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐'๐ฅ ๐ค๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ช๐ง ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ, ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ.
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๐ด๐๐ ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
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[Whatever she's read or heard, it's probably wrong.]
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[ Sorry Michael, she had to ask because everyone seems to be not cool with one another! ]
๐ด๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ. ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ก ๐กโ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก.
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[Which does seem to be the pool from which Abraxas pulls the Summoned from his world, so. He's not expecting anyone happy to see him to come through any time soon.]
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[The word is stalker. He will be stalking Gabriel for the next week.]
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๐ผ'๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ ๐ค๐๐ก๐โ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐. ๐ต๐๐กโ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ก๐โ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐โ๐๐๐. ๐ป๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐'๐ก ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ, ๐ ๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ค ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก โ๐๐.
[ Since he's dead and all. ]
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๐โ, ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐.
[ Claire does get serious though, wanting him to know she understands. ]
๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐โ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ก โ๐๐, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก.
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Though it doesn't show through text, calling him "sir" inspires genuine amusement.]
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[ she can't help it
and neither could I. ]no subject
๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ท๐ถ๐ธ๐ ๐พ๐ป ๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐พ๐๐, ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐?
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๐ฎ๐๐๐๐. ๐ต๐ถ๐น ๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐.
[Did she lose skin off her back being eaten alive? Who knows.]
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๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ ๐'๐ก ๐ ๐ ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ค๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐.
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๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐น๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐น ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐๐๐.
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๐ฟ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐ ๐; ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐โ-๐ข๐ ๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก?
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๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ ๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐.
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๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ๐ก ๐๐ก ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ก๐โ ๐ข๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐'๐ก ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐.
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๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ท๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐น ๐ท๐ ๐ถ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐พ๐.
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๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ข๐โ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ . ๐ผ๐ก'๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ก ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก; ๐ผ ๐ก๐๐ข๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ก ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ .
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โ october, backdated to claire's birthday
Some of it had to do with being uncertain whether or not it was a silly purchase or if Claire would find it useful at all. She was normally the sort of person who was incredibly confident in her ability to buy people gifts but as of late even that confidence had taken a bit of a hit. More than that though, it's the contents of the note itself that are the bit embarrassing her.
When Claire does return to her home and opens the large, nicely wrapped box, the smell of leather will hit her first. Wrapped in tissue and a duster bag is a beautifully handstitched doctor's bag that comes with an adjustable strap. The hardware is polished to shine and just below the clasp of the bag stamped in gold, are Claire's initials. It's spacious on the inside, lined with a simple pattern.
A smaller, card version of the bag seems to house the note that accompanies the present. When she opens the "bag", a slip of paper pops out of it with the accompanying words: ]
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๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ก, ๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐, ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ข๐โ, ๐๐ฆ ๐บ๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ก๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ก. ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ ๐ ๐๐ข๐โ, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ข๐โ. ๐โ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐โ๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐.
mid-month holiday time
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๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก, ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฆ๐กโ๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐ - ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐๐๐กโ, ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐?
[ She knows something about sharks and their replaceable teeth, but not much. It's a personal—if not uncommon—token, and she's curious if it is his, or meant to be representative of him only. For a second she thinks of the jar of teeth at Josselyn's, and huffs out a laugh of dark amusement to herself. ]
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MY TEETH!
mail delivery โข
something else lies wrapped, though, and once opened, it'll reveal itself to be an apron to tie at her waist, with the novelty of pockets, so she may never run out of space while gardening or tending to her bees.
a small note sits under the box.]
๐ญ
๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐ . ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐ข๐๐๐'๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฆ๐กโ๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ข๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐!
โ the week of 3/10
[Lord John is well aware by now that this does not, in fact, work like a letter, but old habits die hard.]
I hope you are well. This storm that has settled over the land here in Thorne is wreaking not the least amount of havoc. Its winds are heaviest in Nott, and we in the guard are being advised to prepare ourselves for a temporary station there to assist Admiral Sidwell with repairs.
[John has many reasons he is reaching out. Checking in is definitely one of them, although the fact that he is talking about repairs and his duties on city guard means that he's hedging a little.]
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I've lost my garden and the fence, but thank goodness only that, as of now. I worry it will get worse, and so I'm only attempting to salvage at this point, and wait it out. This didn't happen last year at the same time.
[ It's a bit wild to her that she has a year ago to compare to. She's so distracted with the weather, that she doesn't think twice about John having another reason for calling, seeing it as a perfectly suitable reason to reach out. ]
Are you dealing with rain as well?
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Some rain, and the lightning, but winds are the worst of it. The fishing villages near the coast have been bearing the brunt of their force, and itโs all we can do to salvage at this point as well.
Please stay safe and let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Keep me abreast of any and all news of you and yours.
[Speaking ofโฆ]
I had wanted to catch up with you. Of an update, on the topic of which we spoke last. But I fear we may not be able to meet each other again for some time, given the current events in Nochwich.
[If it is possible to be awkward even in writing, he is.]
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[ The last they spoke was emotional and vulnerable, perhaps moreso for John than Claire. But she was speaking truthfully and genuinely about wanting his happiness and feeling like his best chance at finding it, is right here on Abraxas. So, he immediately pings her with his words and feels as disheartened about Nocwich being closed. ]
There is always the Horizon, even if the weather is affecting it, too. We could take our chances. You could always tell me this way, as a last resort. Either way, I'm listening, as it were.
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The Horizon. Of course.
Would you care to stop by for a drink, my dear? At the Beefsteak? It may not be real but nevertheless, there is a fine glass of brandy waiting there just for you. And perhaps this conversation may be better suited in person, or as close as we are able, as it were.
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Who am I to say no to brandy, real or not? I can be there within ten minutes or so, if that isn't too soon?
SORRY FOR THE SLOWNESS
[True to his word, John is ready and waiting at the Beefsteak, whenever Claire makes her arrival. The Horizon is not too unstable there, although it is storming something dreadful. The building itself stands strong against the wind and rain, and once you are inside the fire is quite warm and inviting.
There is a decanter of brandy waiting to be poured for the pair of them, although John is standing ready to receive her at the front door, with a cloth to dry off if necessary. It is only polite, after all.]
don't worry!
Once she's dry enough she embraces John, glad to see him as always, and quietly fretting. ]
It does feel as though it's getting worse.
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He gladly accepts the embrace that is offered, glad for her company. Glad to see her in person, if only incorporeally.]
I cannot even begin to pretend I understand why. Though I am grateful you are here. Wonโt you come and join me by the fire, my dear.
[He gestures down the hallway, toward the room he has prepared for them to sit in.]
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Once she's settled, it means her shoes are off and her feet are curled beneath her. ]
I've lost my garden, now I'm hoping I don't lose the windows of my house. But that's not what we came here to discuss, at least not primarily. You have news.
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At her reminder of the reason for his summons, he flushes slightly. It feels a little silly, given the storm happening around them, but he has to tell her sometime, and he does not want to keep this to himself just because there are more serious matters happening outside their door.]
Ah. Yes, well.
[He turns, fussing with the nearby decanter for a moment, buying himself time to figure out how to broach the subject entirely.] I had wished to speak with you aboutโฆ A particular someone. [He cuts his eyes back to her.] Relating to our last conversation on the subject.
[He winces internally. It isnโt his best start, he will allow that much.]
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Oh yes, I remember. Please tell me you've had a happy development?
[ She waits eagerly, both for the brandy and John's news, hoping they'll have something worth toasting to. ]
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Crossing back to the fire, he hands her a glass of brandy, keeping his own as he sinks down into his chair before he replies.]
I -- think so, yes.
[He offers her the flash of a self-conscious smile before glancing down into his glass in an attempt to gather himself.] I suppose you could say that I took what you said to heart. I'm... Not certain I can say what his motivation was. Perhaps it was the spirit of the Carnivale?
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John! You've buried the lede here, this is fantastic. You had me worried you were downplaying something terrible.
[ She leans forward in her own chair, smile still in place. ]
So, you were both swept up and—?
[ Claire isn't sure if this is the first time he's been entirely, completely safe to tell his own story in as many or as few details as he'd like, and so she tries to keep the reins in his hands and be an enthusiastic friend. ]
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To offer it freely is much more terrifyingly new. But he would rather she hear it from him directly than at another time, from another person (somehow โ and isnโt that a further nauseating thought).]
We have been known to each other for some time now. I was not certain ifโฆ Such attention would be welcome. In my attempts to investigate, I suppose that I was perhaps a little too obvious in my pursuit. [He glances up to her with the flash of a self-conscious, uncertain smile.] I fear I am still not used to this place. I still forget that there are other places and other times whereโฆ It is not so.
[His smile widens at the memory of that night.] He just came out and asked me, very bluntly.
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Oh, I would've honestly loved to have seen the expression on your face! It's understandable, being unsure, so I'm happy to know Geralt finally put it out there. [ What a relief it is, to know one's wanted in return, no matter the nature of the relationship. She hopes he has this for a long while, that it has the chance to turn into as much as John's hopes have taken him. ]
And now, do you plan on...well, whatever the equivalent is to courting or going together is on this planet, while we're here?
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I hope you're doing okay. The Free Cities has been having lovely sand storms and lightning ever since, well....ever since. I hope you are doing alright in Solvunn and people aren't getting hurt too badly over there?
-- Will
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[ Yet? ]
๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐, ๐กโ๐๐ข๐โ. ๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐โ ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ข๐โ?
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With any luck this will die down before you get any bigger tornadoes. Do you have enough supplies to make it through in the event of an emergency?
Enough sunlight is making it through here, I'm just fine. The air is nasty and breathing in sand kind of stinks, but at least I'm not wilting?
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๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐, ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ โ๐๐๐.
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[He was worried about you Claire! Will has been parentified for far too long.]
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๐ผ'๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ก๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข.
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I just hope everything gets better rather than getting worse. I don't like the way this is heading, Claire.
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I wish I could do something for you, but, territory locked as we are.....
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๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐ก ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ โ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐-โ๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐ก'๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐คโ๐๐๐.
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[ The point, Doctor... ]
๐ฐ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐?
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[ She'll answer if he has questions, but for now she pauses in her boarding up of windows to take a breath and welcome the interruption. ]
๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐๐ก, ๐๐ก โ๐๐ ๐'๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐'๐ก โ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐๐.
[ There's a significant pause before she adds anything about herself. ]
๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ก. ๐โ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข, ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐, ๐ผ โ๐๐๐?
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[ As thrilled as he is about knowing her whole name, he's genuinely sorry for what she's lost in the storms. (And he'll ask more about Grey shortly.) ]
๐ธ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐'๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
no subject
[ The wind is seriously a hindrance, and even though Claire is spry, she's still over fifty and she doesn't spring back quite as easily. Those winds knock her back as easily as the older folks she's been doing her best to help. ]
๐ผ๐ก ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ , ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐.
no subject
๐ธ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ธ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐.
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๐โ, ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐๐ฆ, ๐ผ'๐ ๐ก๐๐ข๐โ. ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ข๐โ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ โ๐๐โ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ; ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ โ๐ข๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ข๐๐?
[ She knows she survived because a decade later she marries Lord John, so she feels comfortable with her words. They may not be as reassuring as she's hoping, though. ]
no subject
๐พ๐ ๐๐๐ , ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐!
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[ Here, Claire pauses. In the time she's been in Abraxas, she has tried not to think about Geillis. The woman who, with no way of knowing she'd live, sacrificed herself for Claire. The woman who kidnapped Ian. The woman Claire murdered and whose bones she examined two hundred years later. There's a significant pause before she sends anything else through to be read. ]
๐๐๐๐๐ฆ, ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐'๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐ก โ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐.
[ And she skips right over all of it because it wasn't a good time. However, if anyone was going to prod, the Doctor would be the most likely to receive answers. ]
๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐, ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐โ๐๐ค ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐, ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐ก๐ข๐๐๐๐. ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ก. ๐โ๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐, โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ โ๐๐๐.
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[ It is, of course, quite the adventure to live through, and Claire's more than had her fair share, from other things she's told him. It never ceases to amaze him (and, at times, trouble him), the things that humans can go through in their relatively short lives. But it's also a reminder of why it's been so naturally easy to connect with Claire — she's seen and done so much, and she carries on raising hell, as she says.
On the other end of the psychic interface, the Doctor smiles faintly. ]
๐ธ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ข, ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
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[ She smiles to herself and wishes things didn't seem to be getting worse with the weather. ]
๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐โ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐ก ๐ข๐๐ก๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ผ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ผ'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐.
immediately after returning to Thorne
I don't know where to start.
I'd like for us to speak soon — face to face. I will come to you in the Horizon as soon as I may, if you are amenable.
— Jon Snow
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๐๐๐ . ๐๐๐ , ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ค๐ ๐ โ๐๐ข๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐. [ Can she still say things like that to him, when he isn't the safe place for her thoughts the way she's believed? She doesn't know. ] ๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐. [ There are no woods, of course, nothing as vast as what once was. Or wasn't. She can't figure out which it is. ]
๐ท๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข--๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ค, ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐?
[ She'd rather not drag it out and put it off, rather not delay confronting things, if she's going to. ]
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That you feel lost — I don't like it. You deserve better.
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[ She doesn't know if she will or not, but right now she has bigger things on her mind. Her bees are dead, her home needs half a roof, and she misses the wrong husband. ]
'๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ก' ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐. ๐ท๐๐'๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ก.
[ This is her only chance to downplay things, while he can't see her face as she attempts to lie her way out of his concern. ]
no subject
Better than me. My head is a whirl.
You should keep your hair as you like it, however you like it. There might be herbs that can make it brown again, if a spell cannot.
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[ The thought is automatic, less filtered, and she regrets it as soon as its gone. She doesn't know him, or have any right to those words, does she? She doesn't know how to recover from that thought, and so she barrels ahead to changing the topic back to their plans. ]
๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ค, ๐ ๐ ๐คโ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐.
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All right. I will be there as soon as I can.
[And three or so hours later, there is a hesitant rap on a cottage door.]
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Seeing him causes a knot in her throat that she tries to swallow, but it causes a small wobble of her chin. She ducks her head and then steps aside, finding her voice. Her long silver hair is down and perfectly hides a portion of her face when she dips her head, just as she was hoping for. ]
Come in, please Jon.
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Everyone but her. He has loved her. He's lived whole lifetimes with her. He hardly knows her.
When he comes inside, he has the ghost of an impulse to sit in a chair and kick off his boots and put his feet up and pull her into his lap. He does none of these things, pushing them aside. This is not your place, no more than those crypts are. Instead, he inclines his head to her, a gesture of respect.]
-- I still don't know what to say. Saying I'm sorry, that's a place to start.
[He stands far enough into the room that she can close the door behind him; he stares at her sadly.]
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You have nothing to be sorry for, it isn't necessary. If anything I'm—
[ She's what? Married and should have somehow known to resist? Confused because she doesn't understand why she can't quickly fall back on being married, unavailable and unaffected by what happened? ]
I didn't make it easy for you when you tried to explain the truth to me, and for that, I'm sorry.
[ She was borderline juvenile about her refusal, but she's trying to stand taller now, trying to remind herself that none of this was their fault. Her love for him isn't her fault. ]
no subject
[he says, but he says it easily, with no rancor. She had not made it easy for him, but -- ]
I can't think of a reason why you should have. It was your whole life, and for my part -- well, I wished then that I had never known. We could have gone on happily until the end if I had not gone to Hayle.
Still, I -- it's better to know the truth.
[He keeps his tone very calm and serious as he says these things. He has told himself, before arriving, that speaking this way is for the best.]
How is Solvunn, now that you've returned to it? Thorne seems much the same as ever, apart from the trouble the storm caused.
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Solvunn will be fine. I need a new roof, all my bees are dead, the community is rebuilding. Is that what we're here to speak of, then? I'll give the more detailed report if so.
[ Brushing her hands over her skirt, she sits at the table and pours tea for both of them simply to have something to do with her hands. It isn't because she spent lifetimes taking care of him, knowing what he likes, able to anticipate it. It's because he's a guest, he'd do the same for anyone. Or so she tells herself. ]
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No. It isn't.
But I wanted to know if you wanted anything from the castle town in Thorne. I will bring it to you in Nocwich, when I can. I'd help you with your roof if I could, too, but -- [An awkward, dismissive shrug -- he can't see her house in Solvunn, let alone aid her with it. Then, more hesitation, and then,]
How well do we know each other, in truth?
[The entire time, he ignores what she's pouring into the cup.]
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I know, itโs alright. I donโt think Iโm short anyone willing to help, but Iโll make a list if youโre really alright with it, of supplies I might need.
[ Sheโs quiet. It feels like thereโs an ocean between them, and where the answer should be simple, it isnโt. ]
You know me more intimately than anyone in Abraxas. Everything about my heart, my character. You know fears and worries, all of that was real Jon. What you donโt know is what I was forced to forget, but Iโll tell you anything you want. It involves time travel, Iโve been pulled to another time before.
[ She doesnโt want him to think sheโs hiding anything, and her gaze settles on his. ]
The Singularity gave us one another for centuries, and I havenโt had even a handful of years with Jamie. Heโs the father of my children and I do love him, deeply.
[ Claireโs voice is shaking, the knot of guilt unfurling. ]
For two decades I grieved for Jamie, a shell of myself. I got him back, I had him for less than two years, and then I was here. Itโs been a year since my arrival, and at first I thoughtโฆwell, I thought I would be that same half-alive person without him. But then I wasnโt. I made friends here, I created a small family for myself, and I realized I was happy. Making choices solely for myself, building connections, realizing my happiness didnโt depend on being reunited with Jamie.
[ She heaves out a breath, realizing she might as well finish so she can stop talking. ]
Before all of this, Iโd already started missing having someone not only in my bed, but someone who knew the deeper parts of me. Everything that matters when you let someone into your heart.
[ Then she had it, and now she doesnโt want to let go. She understands that she has to, and she assumes these are final words. Sheโll have to think later about what sort of person she is for wanting all of this, if sheโs always been selfish. ]
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What he hears is: she loves this other man. They have children, something she and Jon could never have had. She had missed Jamie when she was summoned... but then, less and less.
Jon's fist flexes, then loosens. He wants to smash the man's face in. Poor man, who has done nothing to him but be born somewhere, at some time; a man whose great crime had been to meet Claire first. He wonders what he would do if he rounded a corner and met Ygritte. Her body is ashes in the wind scattered all across the North now. He has tried to let her go, however long it has taken. No man can hold to ashes forever.]
And that's what we were?
[Some of the skepticism in his expression relents when he goes on to explain, gently as he can,]
You don't know everything about me, either. You know more than most, but not the things I couldn't remember -- same as it is with you. I was not made to forget anything like a wife, I am free to marry if I wish, but other things. My duty is to rally the defense of the North, and I am nowhere near the North. They took me from it.
[Still, one thing stands out in everything she has said: somewhere in all of this, she has loved him. Their life together had been as true as it might be, for all that it had been an illusion. He adds,]
I hate that you are wedded.
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[ She bites back quickly, a shade of embarrassment if she was wrong beginning to color her cheeks. ]
You say I don't know everything about you as if something is keeping us from getting to know one another again, truthfully this time. Although, how do we even know this is all of it? What if something else has happened, if more time has passed than we think, or a bigger event occurred, and we just don't know?
[ Her gaze focuses on the top of her mug, watching the steam slowly rise. For his last statement, she tries to come up with something to say, but all she can come up with is a truth. ] When I met Jamie I was married. Something...similar to Abraxas had happened to me. It kept me in the same place, only moved me two-hundred years into the past. [ One thumb glides up and down the side of the hot mug, swallowing, wondering what he'll think of her after this. Likely nothing good, if he takes issue with her being married now. ]
Weeks after we'd married, I had the chance to go back to my own time, I didn't. I suffered for it later plenty, believe me, but I made my decision and left a husband to wonder what in hell happened to me. I don't know what it says about me, if I'm able to love deeply and easily, or if I'm selfish, needy.
[ She knows based on what others have said that it's likely if she ever does leave Abraxas, she won't remember her time here, won't have any knowledge of it, and will go right back to floating in the to the middle of the ocean none the wiser. She also knows Jamie could theoretically arrive tomorrow, but she's already done a sort of waiting, for two decades, and she can't go through it again, always wanting for something, always aching. ]
I understand if this is too much, Jon, I do. If nothing else, I would like to at least be a friend to you.
[ A friend who still remembers canvassing the man in front of her with hands and mouth, things which she will absolutely not allow herself to think about now. ]
And...I'm sorry.
[ Because now she thinks it's worth saying again, after all she's mentioned. ]
no subject
He watches her as she speaks, but sometimes, what she says to him has him looking down at the table. He is looking at her, though, when he affirms,]
We were. It was for me. No one has ever known me better than you did then. But it wouldn't be right to assume that's how you feel about it now. I needed to know.
[The rest bewilders him. A second husband? Not really married to this Jamie at all, but she had loved him, missed him, mourned him? He listens -- he will be thinking about little else for days -- but he doesn't yet respond to it. Part of him wants to kiss her to stop her talking, leaping ahead as she is, and the better part of him knows it would solve nothing. Hearing what she's saying might be like little knives, but it is the truth, better than a comforting lie.
He sets his teacup down and puts his face in his hands, rubbing over his eyes, before looking up again.]
Of course we're friends. None better. I didn't tell you that there are things you don't know about me to make you feel like you don't know me, or you can't.
[A deep breath.]
My father was Lord Stark. Winterfell was his castle, you know that much. He was good through and through -- the best man I ever met. But I am not Jon Stark; I never have been. He fathered me on some woman -- I've never known who -- when he was at war, even though he had been newly married. And when the war ended, he brought me home to his castle.
I don't know what they treat bastard children like where you come from, but where I come from, they say that bastards are born sinners because they come from sin. Born full of lust because they are born of lust. Born oathbreakers because they come from the breaking of an oath. If my father had been a different man, I might have been raised as the servant of his trueborn children, or raised far away from them, instead of beside them. There are worse places to be a bastard child than the North, but --
[An expansive little gesture. It had been bad enough.]
When I was a boy, I wanted to prove them all wrong. Prove that a bastard might have honor; prove that I was not a stain on my father's name. And still, I've done many things as a man that I swore, as a boy, that I would never do. You think things are simple when you're a child. You don't understand how hard some choices can be -- that sometimes there is more honor in breaking an oath than keeping one, and that one man's honor does not matter against the lives of a thousand people.
I'm telling you this so you understand why it troubles me to lie with another man's wife. But then, I weigh that against another measure. We were happy for hundreds of years.
I've hardly ever looked to be happy; I've hardly had the chance.
[He hears the uncertainty in his own voice. What he means is: how much should his own happiness matter? Or, if not his, hers?]
no subject
I understand the reasons you have, and I think most morally centered people would need to take a step back. You're right; as a child, even a younger person before being introduced to the real horrors of the world, things are so black and white. 'I will never' and 'I will always' come easily. Too easily because we simply don't know any better.
[ Something in her softens, loosens, as if the tension has been set free, even if momentarily. ]
As adults, we have the ability to see nuance and apply context. Some can do that more easily than others, or perhaps I'm attempting to make excuses for myself. Either way, I lived for twenty years in a nebulous space, faithful to a man so far away that he was a ghost, while someone right next to me wanted me, wanted to love me, be a husband.
[ Frank was by no means perfect, but he accepted her when he had every right not to. He did things she will always abhor, he took things from her, all but her ring, but he also tried. He tried harder than he had to, and she rejected him, stayed buried in her grief and never, ever moved on. ]
I could've chosen to be happy while keeping space to mourn and miss Jamie, but I didn't. I could make the same mistake again, but I won't.
[ Claire sounds a little more sure of herself, but still isn't positive there's anything she can say that makes her sound like less of a wandering wife. ]
I want to live my life, and if love is a part of that, if that's what happiness looks like, I don't want to push it away because something may or may not happen. I don't want to lose hundreds of years of happiness, even if...
[ Even if their status and history in Abraxas was a lie. Their feelings weren't, were they? ]
Even if I have to defend myself to Jamie. Tomorrow, two years from now, two hundred. I can't live another life wanting and feeling achingly alone.
no subject
But the life he remembers with Claire had gone on for centuries, not only a few moons, and had never been so fraught as his time with Ygritte had been, and today, Claire means more to him. It is hard for it to feel like a betrayal of a woman he is not likely to see again. He can even imagine what Ygritte would have said, with that sly smile of hers: Taken up with a woods witch, have you, Jon Snow? But she would have wanted him to live freely, not to suffer and mourn and think only of duty.]
That's the trouble, isn't it? I don't like to think of you all lonely like that. You ought to be happy. If we part now, there will be other men -- someday. I don't like to think of you with another man, either. Not your Jamie, I am sorry, and not anyone else.
If I break with you in truth, those things will come. They should come. I will have to stand aside, watch them. No right to do anything else, and no one to blame.
[Right now, it seems she is a widow, more than another man's wife. She is much older than he is, too.
If those things don't come, might be that she will leave this world the way others have, and it will be like it was with Alicent: his hesitation, knowing of her husband, knowing the man had sat the Iron Throne all those years ago, had removed all possibility between them.
The idea of all of that makes him feel heartsick. He has endured that before, though. His heart is usually of such little matter.
He does reach for her hand, covers it with his, for all that he wears a slight frown. It feels good to touch her. A living woman, right in front of him, and both their futures in his hands.]
We were happy for so long. And we might -- that might be near enough to our lives now, not in five hundred years. Not after all that sorrow. Is that what's right?
[He doesn't know if she can tell how much he wants it, and how hard it is to take the last step. But he is beginning to understand that there might not be another chance.]
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Keeping her hand in his, Claire stands and moves around the table to the chair right beside him. Now her free hand is against his cheek, holding his face in her hand, a perfect fit. It's a gesture that feels so familiar, and she tries to soothe away his frown with her touch. ]
What do you want, Jon Snow?
[ She answers his question with a question of her own. Has he ever been asked that, ever been able to ponder the question and ultimately choose himself? The hand in his squeezes gently in encouragement, but she doesn't let her believe it will be as easy as a simple answer. She has hope, but it's hesitant. ]
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So easy to live in this love, this moment. It could be the last, or it could be only one of many.
He opens his eyes, catches her gaze with his.]
You know what I want.
[You, for as long as I can have you.
He exhales, then adds,]
But I also don't want either of us to do something we'll regret.
I would be breaking faith with no one. You say you would not be: I want you to be sure. We have never touched each other in truth, but I remember every -- [Every inch of you, every breath.] Everything. There's a difference between something that fell on us and something we chose.
When I was a boy, I did not think I would ever marry. I had nothing to offer a wife and no reason to think I'd ever have funds to support a family. These last few years, now that things are different, I have known that I might have little choice in my bride. If I married, it would be for the North, not for who I wanted in my bed. Not for love of anything but my people, though it might be that love could grow.
But you and me -- this is a choice, now.
If we are lovers in truth, or more than that, we should be sure of it.
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[ If that love was manufactured by the Singularity, then wouldn't it have dissipated along with everything else? She listens to him now and leans in to press her forehead to his tenderly, closing her eyes. Bringing their hands between them, she holds onto his hand with both of hers. They aren't married here, he's never been more correct that they have the opportunity to walk away cleanly. ]
I remember. Nights we talked out problems until sunrise, mornings we stayed lazily in bed mapping one another, the days of walks and exploring, solving problems together. I remember, and I'm sure. I want this, I want you.
[ Voicing it, these last three words especially, feels as though she's reaching for him across a gulf even though he's right in front of her. ]
I want this, I want you.
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When he speaks, his voice is low, hardly above a whisper, and his lips are almost against hers.]
In Nocwich. I want to see you in the flesh. If we both still want it, if you haven't changed your mind, if I can know in my heart that I am with my own woman and not some other man's, we will see each other there.
[He ought to move to leave, as tempted as he is, but he doesn't. It had been hard not to call her his wife, but she is not, not right now.
Sitting here with her like this, nearly kissing her, almost holding her, it's a taste of what he wants. All that really stands between them now is his worry that this desire is wrong -- that giving in to it might dishonor them both. Even so, it's all right to stay a while longer... all right when it's a beginning, and all right, too, when it might be a farewell.
Isn't it?]
Before then, there's something I want you to know. A few years before they brought me here, there was a mutiny. My own men stabbed me -- I don't know how many times. I have scars, ugly things, all over my chest and my belly. You haven't seen them.
[In their hundreds of years together, his face had been scarred, lines over each eye that were faint or deep depending on the day, but his chest had been smooth and uninjured.]
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That's fair, Jon.
[ She pulls back enough so that she can look at him, holding his gaze while her thumb grazes his cheek. ]
I'll agree to that.
[ For some reason she hadn't expected any other confessions, but the more Jon speaks, the tighter her lungs feel in her chest. Mutiny, stabbing, scars. One hand drifts to his chest, pressing there through layers to feel the muffled beating of his heart. ]
I remember listening to this at night. [ Her forehead creases in pain at the image her mind conjures, of Jon being brutally attacked, his blood pooling out of him. It makes her feel nauseous, but she swallows the emotion back. ] You think scars are going to mean anything to me other than you lived? [ She shakes her head, and this time, her forehead comes to rest on his shoulder, a hug that isn't one, not yet. ]
Why? Why did they do it?
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It's a long story. I will tell you more of it some other day.
For now, it's enough to say that I was Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. The men choose their Lord Commander, and the vote had been a narrow thing. When I made... an alliance with an old enemy, to fight a worse one... some disagreed. It was our only chance, but some disagreed. They had not seen. They did not know what we would face.
[He is now trembling, but only a little.]
The word of the Lord Commander should be law, and once a man is made Lord Commander, he is Lord Commander for life.
Claire, I didn't live. [It's hard to say this, but if she ever sees the scar over his heart, she will know. No man could survive that wound.] I was dead and cold on a table for two days until a priestess brought me back. I don't remember anything, but believe me when I say I was dead in truth.
[This might go some way to explaining his insistence, even through the years of their marriage, that he was not a god, only a man. Back at Castle Black, in his last days there, he had had to insist on it.]
I only don't want the scars to surprise you.
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Dead.
[ She repeats it slowly, thinking of those she knows who have told her if not for Abraxas, they would be dead. She thinks of vampires, of Louis, how death and the dead aren't what she'd come to believe. It's still difficult to wrap her mind around, that this man she loves was dead and could have been gone forever, might never have arrived here. Bending her head, she presses a very soft kiss to his knuckles, reassuring herself of his solidity and leaving behind a bit of dampness from a stray tear. He was hurt, murdered, and it makes her stomach ache. ]
I believe you, Jon.
[ She's straightened, looking at him again. She wants to pull him close, to love him, but she's made an agreement and she can only hope that in Nocwich, he'll let her take him in her arms. ]
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Not much longer than a fortnight before they can go to Nocwich. If he doesn't leave here soon, there won't be a decision to be made; there will be only more kisses and more than that. And though he thinks he knows what his decision will be, and she likely knows from the things he has just said what it will be too, it would still be wise to take the time to be sure.
Even so, it is not easy to stand up and walk out a door right after such a confession as he has just made, so he does not. He takes a few slow, hard breaths, masters the trembling, masters the desire to linger here, holds her hand all the while.
Then he gives it a little squeeze and releases it. He places the flats of his hands on his thighs as if he's about to stand.]
I ought to be getting back. Send me your list of anything you need from the markets in Thorne; I have a little coin, as long as you can wait for them.
[Then he does push to his feet.]
Claire, one way or another -- whatever either of us decides -- we will see each other in Nocwich. All right?
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It's a comfort to her that Jon stays as long as he does, and when he stands, she stands with him, smoothing her hands down her stomach as he offers to purchase a few goods for her. She manages a small smile at that, one that curves her mouth but doesn't reach her eyes. ]
Thank you, I will. I can't imagine there will be much, but I'll let you know.
[ It isn't as if she has to escort him out, but she leads him to the door anyway, and once they're both at the entrance, she looks at him again. ]
We'll see one another.
[ She reaches out to lightly squeeze his hand again, offering another small smile. She struggles for a moment to say goodbye, not because she is, but because she has to choose her words carefully, not too endearing or loving the way they once were. ]
Be safe, in the meantime.
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Good fortune, Claire.
[And then, after a deep inclination of his head and a moment's hesitation, he's gone: away from her little house, and not long after, away from the Horizon, back to his bed in Thorne.]
[FIN.]
Not long after reaching the Coup Basement
I'm all right. My sister, too. I don't want you to worry.
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[ She takes a moment to catch her breath, to focus on the familiar scrawl. He's alright, at least, and her heart is glad for that. ]
๐ผ๐ ๐๐ก ๐ก๐๐ข๐? ๐โ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
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It might well be. There was fighting and smoke in the royal wing of the castle. Guards sent us to safety — they would not let me stay and fight.
We are all in an undercroft with a warded door. Trapped, for now. We will work at getting out.
Lots of people around. Lots of maids. I may be able to come to the Horizon, but not for long.
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๐๐'๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ข๐๐. ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐...๐ผ ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐๐๐๐ค ๐คโ๐๐ก ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐ , ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐. ๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐'๐ก ๐๐๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ค๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐โ, ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ .
[ She's been more focused on the people who are injured, the children especially, but still: ]
๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐ ๐๐ฆ๐๐ , ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก.
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He doesn't mean to tell Claire that. Let her think that all is well enough for him, for now; that it is only a matter of breaking through the wards on the door.]
But you're safe, for now? Anyone hurt?
I will send you a message when more people here are sleeping again. I can see you then.
Seeing you would set my heart at ease.
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[ She says this first, then backtracks. ]
๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ก, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐โ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
[ She goes into detail about what she's seen, the injuries she's encountered. Claire's been on autopilot, slipping into a mode that's like a comfortable sweater, doctoring and patching up in a rhythm her hands are familiar with. ]
๐โ๐๐ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข, ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐.
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If you are awake, I can see you now. I will come to you, unless you want Winterfell.
What would be better?
[He thinks to come to her to spare her the effort, and so that she might spend time in a place where she feels at home, instead of someone else's big castle. But he knows her well enough to doubt that she is sleeping, and if she chooses Winterfell, he can do little kindnesses that would be harder or stranger for him to do elsewhere.
He sits in a room, not able to do much. He has something a little like free time, though not the sort he would ever choose. If she has sat down at all in the time since all the trouble started, he would be surprised. He would lose a wager with himself. So, he thinks, it is better if he does what he can for her.]
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๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก, ๐ผ'๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐.
[ It won't be difficult to slip away now that the chaos has dissipated and a sort of nervous calm has settled over everyone. The worst of the bites have been taken care of, there are people guarding the stores of food and driving back the random creatures in the tunnels. She has time now, there are plenty of healers working together, and someone will find her if she's needed. ]
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ก๐ค๐๐๐ก๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก๐๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐.
[ And she is, true to her word. She's sure she looks like hell; he would win his wager with himself. She'd been sleeping like most others when everything started, and her hair is sloppily tied back to be out of her face with someone's random hairband. She only has the energy to get to Jon, not make her appearance better than what it is or change her clothing, so she arrives in the mismatched pants and blouse she'd thrown on straight out of bed, but at least wearing a small, weary smile when she sees him. ]
It somehow feels like years since I've been here, and yet not long at all since the last time.
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This must be what love feels like when you can't always be with the one you love, he decides. He's only felt like this once or twice before, and the first time -- well, it had only lasted a moment or two. It's better not to think on it, because of what had come after. It had been in the middle of a battle, too.
He holds a hand out to her, not quite above the waist, as he takes the few steps in her direction.]
Aye. It was your home -- one of them.
I share it with my sister. The hall, anyway.
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Concern does flit across her features at the mention of his sister. ]
How is Sansa?
[ She doubts Jon would be here if anything was wrong, but she feels the need to ask anyway, at the very least to know she's alright. ]
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She's well enough. Resting now. Some took injuries on their way down -- spills, mostly -- but she did not.
Your people?
[His concern is genuine, but it is a pleasantry: two things at once. He cares how they are because they are people, and because she cares, but he also doesn't wish to spend too many of the few moments they have together speaking on it.]
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There are pests living in the tunnels, they have a nasty bite, but they're being taken care of. We'll be alright.
[ That's enough for her regarding everyone else, her hands hold him tightly, voice wavering. ]
I hate the distance between us. I never minded the borders before, but now...
[ Now she has no way to get to him and vice versa; if something happened to either of them, how long until the other was informed? ]
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I don't know if we'll get out. I think -- surely we must. It's only a door. But Istredd is in with us, and Ambrose is gone, I don't know where, and Strange and Yennefer. No one still in the castle can break the wards on the door, not yet. I don't know what awaits us if we do get out. I don't know what awaits you where you are.
[He doesn't know what else is coming. Gods willing, this is all, and it will be over soon enough, and they will be safe soon enough.
A firm, tight squeeze, and he kisses her hair before pulling back enough to look at her.]
Claire, I love you. Know that. I don't really want to be apart from you. I'll talk to you every day, if I can. [He means if he lives, though the situation isn't so dire as that -- not yet.] All I'll do is think of you -- it's bloody dull here. Stone walls everywhere you look. But for now, we have food, water, places to sleep.
[His bed is a hard piece of the floor, rather cold, but no matter.]
A message like today, and we meet when we can. All right?
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When he steps back, his words spark just a small smile before she nods and takes his hand, pressing her lips to his knuckles. ]
All I do is worry for you. I know you're a fighter. [ Meeting his gaze, she's so torn between being proud of him, of what she knows he would do for others, and being terrified, wanting to beg him to keep himself out of the fray. ] I love you. Even if I'm busy, I'll always respond with a word, at least. [ She can manage that, a quick safe until she can speak more. ]
There are enough children to keep me busy, but not busy enough to keep my mind off of you.
[ She loves a man who puts himself in the line of danger, as if her heart could actually take it if something happened to Jon. ]
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It's a helpless sort of love, he decides. He has chosen her with clear eyes, a clear mind. Yet he also knows, looking at her, that he could not have done otherwise.]
I'll try to come here every day. If the children need you more, it's all right. If you can't get here, or if I can't, that's all right too.
Things get worse where I am, I'll let you know.
[The rest of the time they have here, he just wants to hold her, kiss her, feel her against him. Not the lovemaking that might happen otherwise, not today -- though that might come another day, depending how long each of them is trapped where they are, and how much time they can each find to spend here. But it feels good to hold her tightly in his arms. It feels right.
Because back in Thorne, he feels lost and small and frustrated, trapped, pinned to a point of inaction.]
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We'll do the best we can, and know that if I could be with you there, I would.
[ If she could get to Jon, she would in a heartbeat. Better to face what comes with him than apart, but of course, there's always a separation in her life. Tilting her head up, she finally closes the distance between them in a firm kiss to which she immediately yields, determined to get lost in him for at least a little while. ]
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As they hold each other, it feels like haven enough for a time.]
[FIN.]
circa thorne coup / early july
I hope things in Solvunn are okay. Thorne's kind of messy, but Percy and I are fine.
Do you have some time today or tomorrow to work in the Horizon?
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[ She'd be internally screaming; hell, she already is, because technically her husband is a solider, and her literal lover is willing to fight, so her nerves are frayed. Annabeth is a good distraction, a very welcome one. ]
๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข, ๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ. ๐ผ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐คโ๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐ ๐๐๐๐.
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[ what's a coup to the pits of hell??? ]
[ ugh claire don't make her tell you she doesn't always sleep well. mornings are so hit or miss. ]
Sometimes I sleep in, but I can let you know when I'm awake tomorrow?
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๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐, ๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ ? ๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐โ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐โ. ๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ข๐โ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข.
[ She's positive no two Summond are alike in how they manage to make their way to the Horizon, everyone's a little different. ]
๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ฆ๐ก๐๐๐, ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐กโ.
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I know we can make food in the Horizon too, but it's not the same.
Thanks, Claire. I'll see you sometime tomorrow.
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Morning.
I can meet you at your domain in like a half hour or so, if that's okay.
I'll be practicing regardless.
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๐โ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐๐๐กโ, ๐ผ'๐๐ โ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐๐.
[ It's as Annabeth said, the eating isn't real, but she still enjoys going through the motions. And so, as soon as she's in her domain, she begins working on a batch of snickerdoodle cookies. It fills her cottage domain with the scent of warm vanilla, the front door wide open so that the smell of herbs and wildflowers intermingle with the baking. There's a gray cat in the window frame outside, swishing its tail and cleaning a paw when Annabeth arrives, jumping down gracefully and slinking out into the garden.
The cookies are just coming out of the oven in a half hour, and with the front door already wide open, it's no secret when company arrives. Looking up from where she's taking the tray of cookies out of her stone oven, she smiles broadly, proud of her for using the techniques they've practiced. ]
You've made it, welcome, Annabeth. It's a bit different from before.
[ Smaller; there's no spare room that used to be Percy's, for example. No backwoods that lead to a lagoon. The cottage is still as warm and homey though, with deep greens and blues on the walls. It isn't unlike her home in Solvunn, just a bit less than her actual dwelling. ]
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[ annabeth likes what she finds just as much. she spies the cat in the window and barely resists the urge to chase after it - she should at least say hello to claire first. the door is open, so she raps once at the frame before slipping inside and immediately inhaling the smell of cookies. it brings sally to mind again, in conjecture with the warm space of the entire home - and that's what it feels like here. a home. at least, she assumes it's what a home is supposed to be like, given how much it makes her think of the jacksons'. ]
[ she thinks about the grandiosity of her own domain house and frowns, briefly, before brushing it aside and offering a small half smile. ]
It was a little easier to slip in this time. [ she shakes her head. ] It's still looks good though. I like the colors. Did I see a cat?
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It will only continue to get easier from here. Before you know it, you'll be able to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and there you'll be. [ The cookies are placed on the counter and she nods. ] Thank you, dear. And you did see a cat. I didn't mean to call it into existence, I was being nostalgic and thinking about a cat I found in Cairo once. It was dehydrated and hungry, so I took it in, got it healthy and we had a little bond the rest of the time I was there. The Singularity must've decided I needed a companion.
[ She doesn't mind at all, though she's never named the cat. It's just there, and at times, comes inside to wind itself around her legs before leaving. Nodding toward the back door, she grabs a plate and begins transferring the cookies. ]
Now, should we go outside, or get comfortable on the couch?
[ Either way doesn't matter to her. ] And do you like coffee or would you like something different? [ The beauty of the Horizon is that there isn't any way to be a bad hostess, not when she can ask for anything. ]
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You've been to Cairo? [ it's definitely on her bucket list. she, too, would probably end up attached to a stray should she ever end up in an old city for better reasons than the last one. ]
[ at the question, she peers around the house, like she doesn't know what's better. annabeth loves being outdoors, but there's something so cozy about this place that she sits on it for a few moments and goes for answering the latter inquiry first. ]
Coffee, please. [ it's much easier to look put together in the horizon, but annabeth regularly runs on bad sleep schedule and at least two cups of coffee a day. ]
Maybe snacks inside, then we can look around outside after? I can carry the cookies, if you want. [ she must be useful!! ]
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[ With the living room decided on, Claire slides the plate of cookies over. ] Then that's what we'll do, and thank you. I'll be right behind you with the coffee. [ Busying herself with getting everything arranged on a tray, she knows it would be easier and certainly much faster to simply let the Horizon do all of the work. She likes it though, likes being busy with her hands, so in her own domain, she usually does the work.
When she gets to the living room, the tray is put down on the table in front of them, milk and sugar there if Annabeth wants it. Pouring the coffee, she picks up her anecdote about Cairo once she settles on the couch. It's cozy but not too deep so no one struggles to get up, the cushions a deep navy blue with dark wood trim. ]
If my memory's correct, we were in Egypt around sixteen months, and then we went somewhere in the East. It all blurs together a bit sometimes, we moved so often. I think that's why a home like this was the first thing that came to mind when I made it to the Horizon. It's a home I chose, something I had a say in.
[ It's the same with her home in Solvunn and why it means something to her. The home she lived in for 20 years raising her daughter never felt like her home. Frank picked it, Frank hired the decorator for it, Frank loved it. Frank brought his mistress there. It was never Claire's to sink roots into, she never wanted to be there in the first place. ]
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[ she sits on the couch and her attention darts to the mention of the year immediately. ]
I was wondering about that - if you were from another time compared to me. [ just little things claire had said, back in nocwich. ]
[ the other parts of claire's experience in the horizon are a little familiar too, though that much isn't born of illusions. isn't that what she's been trying to more or less do in her own horizon? figure out how to make a house? dare she say it, a home? she reaches for a cookie and shoves about half of it in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully while she shoves that out of her head and focuses on the curiosity of claire's seemingly adventurous life. ]
Did you always move around with your uncle? Was he an archaeologist or... [ wait, how can she be. polite about this. early 20th century archaeologists desecrated her mother's most famous temple. when annabeth finds you, lord elgin... she wrinkles her nose. ] Sorry, I promise I'm not trying to accuse him of being a thief. But I know what it used to be like.
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[ She doesn't want to make things more confusing than they could possibly be, by jumping around her life. ] My uncle was an archeologist, someone's told me about a movie...Indiana Jones? Sort of similar from what I've been told, only, we stayed where we were once something significant was found, and worked with the locals to find out where it properly belonged.
[ Lamb had always stressed the importance of museums and artifacts staying in their location of origin, to stay where it was found to tell the story of an entire people. ] In return, I was given local tutors, taught the language and customs. It was my version of school from the time I was four until I was eighteen. Every continent except Antarctica, though not for lack of trying on Lamb's part.
[ It was unconventional, and she loved it then, but it didn't make things easy, and after a pause, she looks at Annabeth with a rueful smile. ]
I didn't do very well with others when I went to nursing school. I had to learn.
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[ annabeth finishes chewing her cookie, then gets settled into making her coffee. she dumps about three spoonfuls of sugar in it for extra sweetness, topping it off with a small pour of milk. she takes a sip and briefly closes her eyes. she's missed coffee. but she definitely nods approvingly as claire explains how they worked with locals. ]
I'm not sure how accurate Indiana Jones is to archaeology at all, but I'm sure the locals really appreciated your uncle's style. There was a lot of theft in the earlier years of it - and it still happens - as I'm sure you probably saw in the field.
My schooling's been a little unconventional too. [ commiseration! ] You're a nurse? [ she pauses, briefly thinking it over before she nods again. ] That makes sense.
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We did see theft quite often. And of course, now there are so many museums on two continents filled with things that most certainly didn't originate there. I never knew how to feel about taking my daughter to the Smithsonian and its adjacent campuses at times, when I knew where things originated from, and where they should've been.
[ She remembers late nights of Lamb and his partner fretting, planning, sometimes arguing over it. Moving on and grabbing another cookie, this time Claire nibbles as she nods. Antiquities can always be circled back to. For now, she moves forward. ]
I was a nurse, then I went to medical school and became a surgeon. First woman to graduate Harvard medical. [ She says that with pride, will always mention it, because she overcame harassment, belittlement, sexism and misogyny, and she fought to be in the top of her class, to then go on to be the best trauma surgeon in the greater Boston area. ] I didn't think I would do any of that, to be completely honest with you.
[ Here, they finally come to a point where Claire feels she can segue a bit. ]
I'd decided on nursing school, and about halfway through, the second world war started. Everything was fast-tracked, there was no graduation ceremony. We were rushed through and shipped out, and I was on battlefields for five years or so. I was only a little older than you. [ Both of them having to do impossible things young; Claire knows but hates that Annabeth will understand, even keeping in mind that Annabeth is hardly a typical young woman. ] I was married, too. I'd known Frank for a while, he was a historian my uncle worked with. We were married around a month before he was shipped off, so I knew him, but I didn't know him.
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[ she's always known claire was certainly old enough to be a (mortal) mother, but she spins her life story and annabeth can feel the longevity it in, even if it's not objectively long. it's almost silly to think so after the stupid illusion, but she hears it and she wants that too. she wants to get older and not feel like even just eighteen remains a challenge to reach. ]
[ and she has a real daughter out there. ]
That's really impressive. [ she does not mean it lightly. ] My dad went to Harvard, so. [ gonna zoom past that quickly. ] I know how hard you must have worked, especially if you were the first woman in that program.
[ annabeth has never taken the advantages of her current era as a young woman lightly, especially when she sometimes still feels like she has to work extra hard to prove herself. ]
[ she's also very much been on the battlefield, though not in a medical capacity. she absently touches her arm, where a scar from a dagger wound peeks out from under her orange t-shirt sleeve. ]
Is that why you told me not to get married so young? [ it's half a joke, but it leaves the segue open to whichever direction claire wants to take it. ] It can't have been easy to be a surgeon at that time.
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[ Annabeth is living a life that's nothing like Claire's was, she isn't marrying for assurance and peace of mind for a dying uncle instead of love. ]
I married young for the wrong reasons. I think the threat of war made a lot of people do things they may not have. I married Frank and then we both went our separate ways within...oh, about a year? War was declared and we both shipped off. And after, when we were changed by everything we'd seen and done through five years of hell—[ Claire looks at Annabeth and offers an almost sheepish one-shouldered shrug. ]—we were strangers again. And then I accidentally traveled in time.
[ Claire has told this story before, she isn't shy about it anymore, not when so many others have stories odder than hers. ]
I didn't choose to go, people here have explained that I must have stepped through an unchecked portal to the 18th century. I did choose to stay, though. I fell in love, which I hadn't counted on. It's how I realized I...respected Frank, I loved that he made me feel taken care of. But I wasn't in love with him.
[ She never knows what any given person will think; leaving a husband behind to wonder while she builds a new life so far away he couldn't have even fathomed it. And now, here she is doing it again in Abraxas. ]
I've seen the way you light up when you talk about Percy. [ She offers a warm smile. She never felt that, exactly, for Frank. ] I think it's wonderful.
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He's... my best friend. [ it feels too simple, just like calling him her boyfriend never feels like enough anymore. he's her friend and her family and he is everything to her; she doesn't regret saying so to her mother, no matter the reaction it helped her earn. ] We have each other's backs. We always have and always will. [ a beat. ] Wars and all.
[ then five years of hell momentarily makes her blanch, but she swoops the coffee to her lips to take a sip to deter it - and almost spits it back out as claire casually drops the time travel comment. but at least the thoughts of tartarus that threatened to break in are abated. she stares at the older woman for a moment, surprised but thoughtful. ]
Accidentally traveled through time? How does that happen by - accident? [ how does that happen at all should be the real question, but she supposes it's all tied together. she says portal, but that could mean anything. ] Did you trip or something? Like, is this a common problem where you're from?
[ she'll come back to frank and the decision to stay in a minute, but she wants to understand more about the how first. it's just how she is. ]
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[ Credit where credit is due, she understands more now than she used to thanks to the knowledge of others. ] I touched a rock. I was picking flowers and heard a buzzing sound, similar to a beehive. When I realized it was coming from a large rock, I reached out and touched it, and then everything went dark. I woke up, and after a lot of fear and confusion, it became clear I'd traveled back to the 18th century. Two-hundred years.
[ Claire takes a sip of her coffee, shaking her head. ] I don't think it was especially common, but it happened enough that a song was written about it. A ballad.
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I can't imagine suddenly being two hundred years in the past. [ the magic rock being the cause isn't that unbelievable, she supposes, when she thinks about the sheer number of chaotic magic items at home. ]
Was there a rock back then too, to go back home? I know you said you chose to stay, but... [ the idea of being stuck there is kind of alarming. ]
A ballad? [ she sounds especially curious about that. ] I feel like songs and poems can tell a lot more than people give them credit for sometimes, especially folk tales and oral history. Did you know it before you... time traveled?
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[ She's felt it each time she's traveled, worse every time. She shakes her head at Annabeth's question, thinking back to that night in Castle Leoch when she thought getting back to her time would be as easy as stealing a horse and riding away. ]
I didn't know it, but when I heard it, it gave me quite a bit of hope, because the woman in the ballad goes back to her own time after returning to the rock. That's all I wanted for so long, to just go home. But with no cars, and no easy way to travel as a woman on my own, I was captured almost immediately after I arrived. I thought I was in a war reenactment for about a day, I don't think my mind could accept the reality of my situation.
[ Claire looks around the her little horizon home, then exhales, shaking her head at herself. ] At least I adapted to this better. Although for a week, I wouldn't leave my host's house.
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Ow. Talk about a nasty side effect.
[ then she frowns as claire explains the notion and fears of being stuck, knowing how lucky she is to live in her own time, as a girl. she thinks about her father and how untethered she is to him, how different her life might have been even a hundred years ago. ]
I can't say I blame you for not getting it right away. I mean, who touches a rock and assumes they're getting sent back in time? [ she's been through plenty of difficult to process experiences, some of which she's still working through, but time travel isn't in her repertoire, and she'd like to keep it that way. ]
It sounds... difficult. I can't even imagine. And you still chose to stay, despite all that?
[ she follows claire's gaze as she looks around the house, her domain. ] I kind of wanted to nap for a week after getting here, so maybe hauling up upon arrival isn't that strange all things considered.
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I chose to stay because I fell in love. [ She looks down at her coffee cup, thumb lightly grazing the rim. ] It wasn't instant, but Jamie took care of me, and then to protect me with the name of his clan, he married me. I didn't want him, but I didn't want to be a prisoner on the grounds of being a spy, either. [ Her choices were limited, even in hindsight. She'd tried to escape on her own, and had been almost immediately captured by the worst possible man. ]
It took a while, but by the time he knew the truth of me and actually got me back to the stones, I realized I couldn't let him go.
[ Claire gives a helpless shrug and a small smile. It's the same with Jon now. After everything they shared together, her heart couldn't shut off hundreds of years of loving him. She's just glad he feels the same. ]
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[ there is no doubt in her mind that percy would stay with her though, no matter where she was. ]
[ and she can't help but offer claire a small smile of her own once she sees the expression on the woman's face. it's happy, and more than anything else, annabeth is just glad she was able to find a happiness. for all the kindness she's ever shown, illusion world or real one, she thinks claire deserves it. ]
What if he went with you instead? Was that an option?
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He couldn't. He touched the rock and it was just a rock. But christ, I hoped. I hoped all the way to the stones something would happen. [ She gives a slow shrug of her shoulders, because she has no answers for that. ] We'd been at war, one I already knew Scotland would lose. I tried to change history, like a fool, but of course, I failed. History is history. [ Claire closes her eyes, remembers how hollowed out she felt the moment she woke up alone in the future, no sounds of cannon fire around her, no Jamie. Just the distant sound of traffic and a parting gift from her husband. ] I was pregnant, and we'd already lost one child. I had to go. I had to.
[ Her voice comes with a slight waver; it feels like an abrupt end to the story, she knows it. But even now, she can't go into some details despite knowing they're all together in the
futurepast, her entire family, at least for a little while. The way she felt then, as if she were in a black hole of grief she could never quite pull herself all the way out of, it's too emotional to remember for long. ]I don't—[ She clears her throat and wets her lips. ]—I don't talk about that part much. The leaving. Mostly because I ended up going back twenty years later, after Frank died and I realized Jamie survived the battle. It's easier to skip ahead, sometimes.
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So the time traveling rock is picky. [ her tone is disdainful in a way meant to try and inject levity. she can see the way talking about it affects claire, and she doesn't really know if now's the time to offer a hug. she's better at figuring that out with people she knows well - and even though part of her still feels she does know claire, it's different. annabeth is working on it. ]
You don't have to talk about anything to me you don't want to. [ she hesitates a moment, but reaches out to give claire's arm a squeeze. ]
Twenty years? Was it the same time for him too? Or did you end up where you left off? [ she pauses. ] Was it - was that your daughter you mentioned before then?
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She appreciates her words, and in truth, she wouldn't be telling Annabeth if she didn't trust her, didn't want to try and build something close to what they all shared. It felt nice, to be connected to others, a feeling that she's lacked for most of her life. ]
Twenty years for each of us. When I went back...well. We'd been apart longer than we'd ever known one another. It was awkward. And yes, it was Brianna, our daughter. I raised her, and then she encouraged me to go, to find Jamie again.
[ That feels like a happy note to end on, and not an untrue one. She can't believe sometimes that it's been nearly four years since she's seen her daughter, but Claire shoves that aside and reaches for another cookie. ]
How's all that for a complicated history?
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[ she lets the whole story sink in for a few moments, processing it as she is wont to do, and idly sipping her coffee as she does, to give her something to do with her hands. it was bad enough being apart from an amnesiac percy for half a year thanks to hera's meddling. she can't fathom twenty years. she doesn't want to. ]
It's really complicated and wildly crazy... almost unbelievable, if we weren't sitting in another world already. [ she pauses. ] Thank you, for sharing it with me.
[ even without the nuances and details, she still appreciates the sentiment of learning this very big part of claire. it does explain a lot. ]
Did you find him again? Before you got pulled here?
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Reaching out, she gently squeezes Annabeth's arm with her free hand, a look of warmth softening her gaze. ] I know who we are or were to one another other can be confusing right now. Sometimes it's a bit hard to reconcile, even now. But I believe we'll all figure it out. And I wanted you to know the real me, not what the Singularity made me into.
[ When Annabeth asks about a reunion, Claire nods, thinking back to the print shop, to the moment Jamie looked up and saw her, then promptly passed out. ] I did find him, yes. We spent a year and some months together before I was here. And now I've been apart from him again longer than we were reunited.
[ But she isn't sad about it this time. She can't go through all of that sadness and grief she just explained to Annabeth, a second time. She nearly did, stayed holed up, wrote to Jamie as if she were a prisoner of war. But then she made friends, she met others. She discovered magic. and so she's able to smile now, in a way that makes the corners of her eyes wrinkle. ]
But I've found a family here, and the friendships I think I've been looking for my entire life.
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Did Bree always know her dad was... in the past? [ that seems like the best way to phrase it. ]
[ but she does understand the desire to be known as herself, and not the god she became. annabeth doesn't want to be that person, even with all her own imperfections now - she doesn't want to transform into another version of her mother. she offers claire a small smile and a nod over it. ]
When things are confusing, we just have to... try and sort the pieces. I'm not that person either. Maybe if we think about it like a three dimensional puzzle...
[ a puzzle of people and emotions. but if she thinks about it like a problem to solve, it feels easier. ]
[ oh. annabeth hasn't found here what claire says she has - family and friends - but she does understand the wanting feeling too, so much so that she suddenly doesn't question why claire would like being here, despite the life she'd led back home. ]
I'm glad you've been able to settle in this place. After everything you've been through, you deserve a little peace.
omfg i swear this is the last essay ๐ญ
No. No, she didn't know until Frank died because he forbade it. He had a condition for taking me back. [ She hated Frank for this for so long, but now it just makes her sad for herself, and for Bree, because it might've made things so much easier if she could've raised her daughter alone and peppered anecdotes about Jamie all through her life. Had Frank said yes to divorce any of the times Claire asked, she may never have been a doctor, but maybe her relationship with Bree would've been better. ]
He made me promise I would never speak of Jamie or the past ever again. Not to him, and never to Bree. He would love her and claim her as his, support us, and put me through medical school if I agreed. I asked for a divorce first, but he quickly pointed out I had nothing. After three years in the past, he had control of all the money. I never had a home of my own, I had no family and I was pregnant with nowhere to go. [ What else was she going to do? They both knew even when she asked, she couldn't refuse him. ]
He took everything I was wearing when I returned, everything in my pockets, which included little notes from Jamie, and he burned it to ash. The only thing he let me keep was Jamie's ring, and only that because it was simple silver, made out of a melted-down house key. So there was nothing. Nothing to show for what happened to me except for scars and Brianna herself.
[ And, as Bree so wonderfully pointed out, trying to tell the truth only made Claire look like a 'bored housewife who fucked another man.' Still, she's able to rally and offer Annabeth a small smile. ]
This entire story is why once happiness presented itself here—even with what I have waiting if we're ever forced to leave—I had to take it. I can't ache for something that might not ever be, or could be in two decades. Not again. It's exactly as you said, I deserve a little peace.
[ Which is easier for her to admit because Annabeth said it first. ]
pls i love it
What an asshole.
[ she indignantly shoves another cookie in her mouth to stew on it, to settle with the smile claire offers at the end of it all in the face of the happiness she's managed to find here. it's a far cry from the more mature advice she might have offered claire in the illusion, but it's the truer annabeth version of support. she nods at the older woman's affirmation that she deserves it. ]
As peaceful as things can be in this place, I guess. There's a certain reprieve it offers, in spite of everything.
[ she once told claire she really appreciated thorne's beds, so she supposes she understands that experience of not taking the good of this place for granted. ]
figured we could probably wrap with your next tag?
Truly, I've waited so long to hear someone else make that exact statement. Thank you, it feels validating in a way I can't explain.
[ She takes a deep breath that feels nice and cleansing and lets it out. ] We'll see how long the peace actually lasts. But I will say that here, I've been less afraid for myself as a woman. That alone is a reprieve from the 18th century.
[ With about half a cup of coffee left, she nods toward the back door. ] Would you like to go look now?
5 years later, yes ๐
[ she grins, a little warmly, pleased to have made claire feel a little better too. ] Well, it's true. You're welcome.
[ she exhales a little, and opts for another semi-joke instead of dwelling on the horrors of a misogynistic past. ] Plenty of other dangers besides sexism here to contend with instead.
[ annabeth nods, draining the last of her own coffee. ] Yeah. I really wanna see what it normally looks like.
[ she's still just happy claire wants her around. it feels nice. ]
early july 4; post attack
But if she had been so concerned then, what can he possibly say to put her mind at ease nowโฆ]
๐๐ต๐ช๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ช๐ฌ๐ด ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐ฎ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐พ๐ท๐ฑ๐ช๐ป๐ถ๐ฎ๐ญ.
[He will have a few nasty bruises in a few days but considering the alternative, heโll take it.]
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As soon as John's message comes through she stops what she's doing, sinking down onto the nearest seat. ]
๐ต๐ข๐ก? ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ข๐๐'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ โ๐๐๐.
no subject
๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ช๐ฌ๐ด ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ป๐ญ๐ผ, ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐พ๐ช๐ป๐ญ. ๐๐ท ๐ฎ๐๐น๐ต๐ธ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ. ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ญ๐พ๐ฝ๐. ๐โ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ป๐ฒ๐ผ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ. ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต๐ธ๐ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ธ๐ท ๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ.
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John will know that in person would have been no different. ]
๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ข๐ ๐ถโ๐๐๐ ๐ก, ๐ฝ๐โ๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐กโ๐๐ก. ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐โ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ . ๐ป๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐๐กโ๐๐๐? ๐ผ๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ก๐? ๐ท๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ๐๐ก๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐๐? ๐น๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐—
[ Finally she manages to wrangle control over the flow of her thoughts, leaning over with her head in her hands, taking a few deep breaths. ]
๐ผ'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ. ๐น๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ค๐. ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐กโ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐'๐ก โ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐.
no subject
๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐ผ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐ฎ, ๐๐ต๐ช๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ช๐น๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ป๐ท. ๐๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ธ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ผ ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ.
๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ต. ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ถ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ผ.
no subject
๐ผ ๐ค๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐ข๐ก ๐๐ก ๐ค๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐'๐ก ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐โ๐๐๐.
[ Hopefully that keeps him from imagining the worst, she was almost never alone, with plenty of healers keeping an eye out even when she doesn't realize. ]
early october (now-ish);
In his defense, he feels as though he has burdened enough people already.]
๐๐ต๐ช๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ?
๐ ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ช๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ธ๐พ. ๐ข๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ช๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ๐ญ.
[Ominous.]
no subject
๐โ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐ก, ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ก?
no subject
๐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ผ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฎ ๐ท๐ธ๐, ๐๐ฎ๐ผ.
[A beat.]
๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ. ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ช๐ต๐ฝ.
[He knows he owes a further explanation so he goes on quickly:] ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ, ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ป๐ญ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ถ๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐พ๐ฝ๐. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐พ๐ช๐ป๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐พ๐ฝ๐ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ซ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ, ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ. ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ช ๐ป๐ช๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ๐ ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ช๐น๐ฎ.
no subject
๐๐๐ข'๐๐ where??
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐-
๐ด๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐-
๐ป๐๐ค ๐๐ ๐ถโ๐๐๐ ๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐?
[ She stops, taking a breath before finally thinking in complete sentences. ]
๐ด๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐? ๐ท๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐?
[ If John can get to the Free Cities...perhaps...Claire shakes her head, not wanting to get her hopes up, to plant a seed that can't grow. ]
no subject
Thus far, he has not run into any trouble. But that does not mean that there will not be any. He is effectively a deserter, and that concept does not particularly sit well with him either.]
๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ช๐ต๐ฝ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ๐ญ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ท๐ท๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ต๐น ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ช๐น๐ฎ. ๐๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฝ, ๐จ๐ฎ๐ท๐ท๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ถ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐น๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ. ๐๐ธ๐ป ๐ช ๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ฎ.
[It was not cheap. That's where Geralt and Istredd come in.]
๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ซ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ ๐ช๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ช๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐พ๐ต๐ช๐ป๐ต๐ ๐น๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ฎ. ๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ธ๐พ๐ป๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ด ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ธ๐๐ท, ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ๐ผ.
[Besides. He is with Geralt. Which means he is as safe as he can be, as far as he's concerned.]
no subject
๐๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐. ๐ผ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐กโ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐๐ข๐๐๐'๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐. ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ ๐คโ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข โ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐โ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก โ๐๐๐๐๐.
[ And that is why, in her heart as it has been shaped by this world, she doesn't see herself leaving Abraxas unless forced. Let the version of her living the life John experienced, have it. She misses Bree, but as far as she knew when she touched the stones, she was always going to spend a lifetime missing her daughter. Here, there is a freedom she can't deny. A freedom for everyone, and it means something to know John has found that freedom in his relationship with Geralt. ]
๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ โ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐. ๐ผ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐๐ โ๐๐๐๐ฆ, ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ โ๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ โ๐๐ข๐๐ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐โ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐๐๐.
[ She says the endearment fondly, not possessively, quietly wishing the best for them. ]
๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข ๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ '๐๐๐๐' ๐๐๐ '๐๐๐๐ก๐๐' ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ. ๐ฟ๐๐๐ โ๐๐ค ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข'๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐.
no subject
๐ ๐ผ๐พ๐น๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ ๐ช๐ถ. ๐๐ช๐น๐น๐. ๐๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ, ๐ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ. ๐๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ช ๐ท๐ฎ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ผ๐พ๐น๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช๐ญ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ผ ๐ถ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ. ๐ ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐บ๐พ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ต๐ ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ช ๐ซ๐พ๐ป๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ซ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ช๐ต๐ฝ. ๐ข๐ช๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐พ๐ต๐ช๐ป๐ต๐ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ธ๐๐ช๐ป๐ญ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ป๐ฒ๐ฝ๐.
[Which is not to say that John does not think he has a kind heart. He just does not go handing it out willy nilly.
At the teasing, John cannot help but smile and tease a little back.]
๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ช ๐ถ๐ช๐ท ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ผ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ ๐ฌ๐ช๐น๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ญ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ต๐ญ ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ. ๐๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ธ๐ด -- ๐ช ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ช ๐ฑ๐ช๐ต๐ฏ? ๐๐ป ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ-๐ฑ๐พ๐ท๐ญ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ-๐ช๐ท๐ญ-๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ? ๐๐ฎ๐น๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ฝ.
no subject
[ Claire smiles to read his words, glad that his finding this happiness for himself, finally. ]
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐ข๐ ๐๐.
[ If only he could hear her laugh, teasing them both. At this point, she's decided the numbers don't mean a damned thing anymore. ]
๐บ๐, ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐ฆ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฆ. ๐บ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
no subject
Quietly, at first, Daisy knocks on her door.]
Claire?
[When she doesn't answer, she opens the door as quietly as she can. Of course, the door squeaks louder than she'd like it to.]
Claire?
[She repeats, a bit louder this time.]
no subject
Daisy? Are you alright?
[ She turns to look at the window; not even a hint of sunlight yet, and she reaches out a hand, lighting a lantern with the tips of her fingers by using general magic she's book-learned. Adjusting the flame on the wick, she motions for her to come in all the way. Claire's in her shift, and she adjusts her legs so that Daisy can sit.
The opposite side of the room is her 'office' of sorts, where there are scattered papers, more plants, and a window overlooking the garden. ]
no subject
She's tempted to tell her it's nothing and just go back downstairs, but there's that nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her not to.]
I'm--
I had weird dream.
[God, she feels stupid. Wringing her hands together, she walks into the room and takes a seat on the edge of her bed. Looking at Claire, her brows furrow together. Just moments ago she had been looking at her, visibly younger. There's no way she could've just dreamed this.]
Does the name Bree mean anything to you?
no subject
Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.
[ She swallows, rubbing a hand over her face for a moment. ]
What do you remember?
[ Claire already knows the answer, she's just buying time. ]
no subject
At her question, Daisy has to look away. Knowing that, somehow, she had witnessed a very traumatic and vulnerable time in her life.]
All of it.
[Swallowing thickly, she looks back to her after a moment.]
Has something like this happened before?
no subject
[ Claire gets up and slips her feet into slippers before reaching for her shawl. ]
Come on. I won't be going back to sleep now.
[ Leaving the lantern, she lets her hair guide the way back down, getting a fire going in the hearth once there. ]
I'm going to make tea, would you like any?
[ She doesn't know what to do or where to start, but tea has never let her down, and she needs to move, unable to be still. ]
no subject
Numbly, she gets to her feet as she follows Claire out of her bedroom.]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have woken you.
[She shouldn't have said anything at all, because now she knows something Claire wouldn't have told her otherwise. Wrapping her arms around herself, she can't help but look at her in a new light.]
You got anything stronger?
[Because with this new knowledge that her memories/dreams aren't safe from others, she needs something stronger than tea.]
delivery ๐