[Everything that has happened in Thorne has been difficult, but at least he has the measure of the situation for the time being. For himself, and for Sansa, and the other Summoned and the people holed up with them, there are now only two dangers, neither immediate. One is that they run out of food or water before they can get through the door, and the other is that, when they get through the door, there is no safety on the other side.
He doesn't mean to tell Claire that. Let her think that all is well enough for him, for now; that it is only a matter of breaking through the wards on the door.]
But you're safe, for now? Anyone hurt?
I will send you a message when more people here are sleeping again. I can see you then.
[ She goes into detail about what she's seen, the injuries she's encountered. Claire's been on autopilot, slipping into a mode that's like a comfortable sweater, doctoring and patching up in a rhythm her hands are familiar with. ]
[Some time later, when many are taking an hour or two of rest, he sends her another message.]
If you are awake, I can see you now. I will come to you, unless you want Winterfell.
What would be better?
[He thinks to come to her to spare her the effort, and so that she might spend time in a place where she feels at home, instead of someone else's big castle. But he knows her well enough to doubt that she is sleeping, and if she chooses Winterfell, he can do little kindnesses that would be harder or stranger for him to do elsewhere.
He sits in a room, not able to do much. He has something a little like free time, though not the sort he would ever choose. If she has sat down at all in the time since all the trouble started, he would be surprised. He would lose a wager with himself. So, he thinks, it is better if he does what he can for her.]
[ It won't be difficult to slip away now that the chaos has dissipated and a sort of nervous calm has settled over everyone. The worst of the bites have been taken care of, there are people guarding the stores of food and driving back the random creatures in the tunnels. She has time now, there are plenty of healers working together, and someone will find her if she's needed. ]
[ And she is, true to her word. She's sure she looks like hell; he would win his wager with himself. She'd been sleeping like most others when everything started, and her hair is sloppily tied back to be out of her face with someone's random hairband. She only has the energy to get to Jon, not make her appearance better than what it is or change her clothing, so she arrives in the mismatched pants and blouse she'd thrown on straight out of bed, but at least wearing a small, weary smile when she sees him. ]
It somehow feels like years since I've been here, and yet not long at all since the last time.
[She looks beautiful. Seeing her like this, her silvery hair all tousled, dressed half like a man -- his face breaks into a helpless smile, and he feels like he's taken a blow.
This must be what love feels like when you can't always be with the one you love, he decides. He's only felt like this once or twice before, and the first time -- well, it had only lasted a moment or two. It's better not to think on it, because of what had come after. It had been in the middle of a battle, too.
He holds a hand out to her, not quite above the waist, as he takes the few steps in her direction.]
[ The moment he holds out his hand, it's as if she's pulled in by a magnet. Closing the rest of the space between them, her arms wrap around Jon's neck in a tight hug. Pressing her face into the crook of his neck, she takes a deep breath, then pulls back to hold his face in her hands. Letting her thumbs graze his cheeks, she's more relaxed now than she's felt in days.
Concern does flit across her features at the mention of his sister. ]
How is Sansa?
[ She doubts Jon would be here if anything was wrong, but she feels the need to ask anyway, at the very least to know she's alright. ]
[He holds her a little too long, breathing in the scent of her. It may be the Horizon, he may not really be able to bring her home to Winterfell, take her to the Godswood, make her his queen, but it feels real. She is solid and warm in his arms. When she pulls back and frames his face with her hands, he keeps her close.]
She's well enough. Resting now. Some took injuries on their way down -- spills, mostly -- but she did not.
Your people?
[His concern is genuine, but it is a pleasantry: two things at once. He cares how they are because they are people, and because she cares, but he also doesn't wish to spend too many of the few moments they have together speaking on it.]
[ There could never be too long; for all that this isn't real, it's enough to recharge her, fill her cup enough to keep her chin up a little longer. Even as she fills him in on the situation, her forehead is leaning in to press to his, closing her eyes and soaking him in. ]
There are pests living in the tunnels, they have a nasty bite, but they're being taken care of. We'll be alright.
[ That's enough for her regarding everyone else, her hands hold him tightly, voice wavering. ]
I hate the distance between us. I never minded the borders before, but now...
[ Now she has no way to get to him and vice versa; if something happened to either of them, how long until the other was informed? ]
[She can feel, rather than see, him nodding, all shaky, as he continues to hold her.]
I don't know if we'll get out. I think -- surely we must. It's only a door. But Istredd is in with us, and Ambrose is gone, I don't know where, and Strange and Yennefer. No one still in the castle can break the wards on the door, not yet. I don't know what awaits us if we do get out. I don't know what awaits you where you are.
[He doesn't know what else is coming. Gods willing, this is all, and it will be over soon enough, and they will be safe soon enough.
A firm, tight squeeze, and he kisses her hair before pulling back enough to look at her.]
Claire, I love you. Know that. I don't really want to be apart from you. I'll talk to you every day, if I can. [He means if he lives, though the situation isn't so dire as that -- not yet.] All I'll do is think of you -- it's bloody dull here. Stone walls everywhere you look. But for now, we have food, water, places to sleep.
[His bed is a hard piece of the floor, rather cold, but no matter.]
A message like today, and we meet when we can. All right?
[ Claire's hands attempt to soothe, fingers lightly moving through his hair. ] We don't know anything either, I don't know how long our food stores will last. But right now, we're alive. [ She wishes she had more, wishes she could share something vital with him, but it seems like they're all in the dark.
When he steps back, his words spark just a small smile before she nods and takes his hand, pressing her lips to his knuckles. ]
All I do is worry for you. I know you're a fighter. [ Meeting his gaze, she's so torn between being proud of him, of what she knows he would do for others, and being terrified, wanting to beg him to keep himself out of the fray. ] I love you. Even if I'm busy, I'll always respond with a word, at least. [ She can manage that, a quick safe until she can speak more. ]
There are enough children to keep me busy, but not busy enough to keep my mind off of you.
[ She loves a man who puts himself in the line of danger, as if her heart could actually take it if something happened to Jon. ]
[He gives her a slow nod, holding her gaze. Mostly, it's to drink in the look of her, so he can call her up in his mind in the coming days, see her whenever he wills whether they can both reach the Horizon or no.
It's a helpless sort of love, he decides. He has chosen her with clear eyes, a clear mind. Yet he also knows, looking at her, that he could not have done otherwise.]
I'll try to come here every day. If the children need you more, it's all right. If you can't get here, or if I can't, that's all right too.
Things get worse where I am, I'll let you know.
[The rest of the time they have here, he just wants to hold her, kiss her, feel her against him. Not the lovemaking that might happen otherwise, not today -- though that might come another day, depending how long each of them is trapped where they are, and how much time they can each find to spend here. But it feels good to hold her tightly in his arms. It feels right.
Because back in Thorne, he feels lost and small and frustrated, trapped, pinned to a point of inaction.]
[ Claire is doing much the same, breathing Jon in as one hand pushes through his hair. She has never been good at saying the words, but she's tactile and willing to show her love in other ways. She wants to be done thinking about how fucked their situation is, and she gives one more nod of understanding. ]
We'll do the best we can, and know that if I could be with you there, I would.
[ If she could get to Jon, she would in a heartbeat. Better to face what comes with him than apart, but of course, there's always a separation in her life. Tilting her head up, she finally closes the distance between them in a firm kiss to which she immediately yields, determined to get lost in him for at least a little while. ]
[And he is lost in her kiss -- feeling like he's not really trapped in an undercroft in Thorne, nor really in some dream of Winterfell in the Horizon, either, but in a place where it's just the two of them, and their love.
As they hold each other, it feels like haven enough for a time.]
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no subject
He doesn't mean to tell Claire that. Let her think that all is well enough for him, for now; that it is only a matter of breaking through the wards on the door.]
But you're safe, for now? Anyone hurt?
I will send you a message when more people here are sleeping again. I can see you then.
Seeing you would set my heart at ease.
no subject
[ She says this first, then backtracks. ]
๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ก, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐. ๐โ๐๐๐'๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ ๐ค๐๐กโ ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐โ ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
[ She goes into detail about what she's seen, the injuries she's encountered. Claire's been on autopilot, slipping into a mode that's like a comfortable sweater, doctoring and patching up in a rhythm her hands are familiar with. ]
๐โ๐๐ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ก'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ข, ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค, ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐.
no subject
If you are awake, I can see you now. I will come to you, unless you want Winterfell.
What would be better?
[He thinks to come to her to spare her the effort, and so that she might spend time in a place where she feels at home, instead of someone else's big castle. But he knows her well enough to doubt that she is sleeping, and if she chooses Winterfell, he can do little kindnesses that would be harder or stranger for him to do elsewhere.
He sits in a room, not able to do much. He has something a little like free time, though not the sort he would ever choose. If she has sat down at all in the time since all the trouble started, he would be surprised. He would lose a wager with himself. So, he thinks, it is better if he does what he can for her.]
no subject
๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก, ๐ผ'๐ ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐.
[ It won't be difficult to slip away now that the chaos has dissipated and a sort of nervous calm has settled over everyone. The worst of the bites have been taken care of, there are people guarding the stores of food and driving back the random creatures in the tunnels. She has time now, there are plenty of healers working together, and someone will find her if she's needed. ]
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐ ๐ก๐ค๐๐๐ก๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ก๐๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐ผ'๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐๐๐.
[ And she is, true to her word. She's sure she looks like hell; he would win his wager with himself. She'd been sleeping like most others when everything started, and her hair is sloppily tied back to be out of her face with someone's random hairband. She only has the energy to get to Jon, not make her appearance better than what it is or change her clothing, so she arrives in the mismatched pants and blouse she'd thrown on straight out of bed, but at least wearing a small, weary smile when she sees him. ]
It somehow feels like years since I've been here, and yet not long at all since the last time.
no subject
This must be what love feels like when you can't always be with the one you love, he decides. He's only felt like this once or twice before, and the first time -- well, it had only lasted a moment or two. It's better not to think on it, because of what had come after. It had been in the middle of a battle, too.
He holds a hand out to her, not quite above the waist, as he takes the few steps in her direction.]
Aye. It was your home -- one of them.
I share it with my sister. The hall, anyway.
no subject
Concern does flit across her features at the mention of his sister. ]
How is Sansa?
[ She doubts Jon would be here if anything was wrong, but she feels the need to ask anyway, at the very least to know she's alright. ]
no subject
She's well enough. Resting now. Some took injuries on their way down -- spills, mostly -- but she did not.
Your people?
[His concern is genuine, but it is a pleasantry: two things at once. He cares how they are because they are people, and because she cares, but he also doesn't wish to spend too many of the few moments they have together speaking on it.]
no subject
There are pests living in the tunnels, they have a nasty bite, but they're being taken care of. We'll be alright.
[ That's enough for her regarding everyone else, her hands hold him tightly, voice wavering. ]
I hate the distance between us. I never minded the borders before, but now...
[ Now she has no way to get to him and vice versa; if something happened to either of them, how long until the other was informed? ]
no subject
I don't know if we'll get out. I think -- surely we must. It's only a door. But Istredd is in with us, and Ambrose is gone, I don't know where, and Strange and Yennefer. No one still in the castle can break the wards on the door, not yet. I don't know what awaits us if we do get out. I don't know what awaits you where you are.
[He doesn't know what else is coming. Gods willing, this is all, and it will be over soon enough, and they will be safe soon enough.
A firm, tight squeeze, and he kisses her hair before pulling back enough to look at her.]
Claire, I love you. Know that. I don't really want to be apart from you. I'll talk to you every day, if I can. [He means if he lives, though the situation isn't so dire as that -- not yet.] All I'll do is think of you -- it's bloody dull here. Stone walls everywhere you look. But for now, we have food, water, places to sleep.
[His bed is a hard piece of the floor, rather cold, but no matter.]
A message like today, and we meet when we can. All right?
no subject
When he steps back, his words spark just a small smile before she nods and takes his hand, pressing her lips to his knuckles. ]
All I do is worry for you. I know you're a fighter. [ Meeting his gaze, she's so torn between being proud of him, of what she knows he would do for others, and being terrified, wanting to beg him to keep himself out of the fray. ] I love you. Even if I'm busy, I'll always respond with a word, at least. [ She can manage that, a quick safe until she can speak more. ]
There are enough children to keep me busy, but not busy enough to keep my mind off of you.
[ She loves a man who puts himself in the line of danger, as if her heart could actually take it if something happened to Jon. ]
no subject
It's a helpless sort of love, he decides. He has chosen her with clear eyes, a clear mind. Yet he also knows, looking at her, that he could not have done otherwise.]
I'll try to come here every day. If the children need you more, it's all right. If you can't get here, or if I can't, that's all right too.
Things get worse where I am, I'll let you know.
[The rest of the time they have here, he just wants to hold her, kiss her, feel her against him. Not the lovemaking that might happen otherwise, not today -- though that might come another day, depending how long each of them is trapped where they are, and how much time they can each find to spend here. But it feels good to hold her tightly in his arms. It feels right.
Because back in Thorne, he feels lost and small and frustrated, trapped, pinned to a point of inaction.]
no subject
We'll do the best we can, and know that if I could be with you there, I would.
[ If she could get to Jon, she would in a heartbeat. Better to face what comes with him than apart, but of course, there's always a separation in her life. Tilting her head up, she finally closes the distance between them in a firm kiss to which she immediately yields, determined to get lost in him for at least a little while. ]
no subject
As they hold each other, it feels like haven enough for a time.]
[FIN.]