[ She bites back quickly, a shade of embarrassment if she was wrong beginning to color her cheeks. ]
You say I don't know everything about you as if something is keeping us from getting to know one another again, truthfully this time. Although, how do we even know this is all of it? What if something else has happened, if more time has passed than we think, or a bigger event occurred, and we just don't know?
[ Her gaze focuses on the top of her mug, watching the steam slowly rise. For his last statement, she tries to come up with something to say, but all she can come up with is a truth. ] When I met Jamie I was married. Something...similar to Abraxas had happened to me. It kept me in the same place, only moved me two-hundred years into the past. [ One thumb glides up and down the side of the hot mug, swallowing, wondering what he'll think of her after this. Likely nothing good, if he takes issue with her being married now. ]
Weeks after we'd married, I had the chance to go back to my own time, I didn't. I suffered for it later plenty, believe me, but I made my decision and left a husband to wonder what in hell happened to me. I don't know what it says about me, if I'm able to love deeply and easily, or if I'm selfish, needy.
[ She knows based on what others have said that it's likely if she ever does leave Abraxas, she won't remember her time here, won't have any knowledge of it, and will go right back to floating in the to the middle of the ocean none the wiser. She also knows Jamie could theoretically arrive tomorrow, but she's already done a sort of waiting, for two decades, and she can't go through it again, always wanting for something, always aching. ]
I understand if this is too much, Jon, I do. If nothing else, I would like to at least be a friend to you.
[ A friend who still remembers canvassing the man in front of her with hands and mouth, things which she will absolutely not allow herself to think about now. ]
And...I'm sorry.
[ Because now she thinks it's worth saying again, after all she's mentioned. ]
no subject
[ She bites back quickly, a shade of embarrassment if she was wrong beginning to color her cheeks. ]
You say I don't know everything about you as if something is keeping us from getting to know one another again, truthfully this time. Although, how do we even know this is all of it? What if something else has happened, if more time has passed than we think, or a bigger event occurred, and we just don't know?
[ Her gaze focuses on the top of her mug, watching the steam slowly rise. For his last statement, she tries to come up with something to say, but all she can come up with is a truth. ] When I met Jamie I was married. Something...similar to Abraxas had happened to me. It kept me in the same place, only moved me two-hundred years into the past. [ One thumb glides up and down the side of the hot mug, swallowing, wondering what he'll think of her after this. Likely nothing good, if he takes issue with her being married now. ]
Weeks after we'd married, I had the chance to go back to my own time, I didn't. I suffered for it later plenty, believe me, but I made my decision and left a husband to wonder what in hell happened to me. I don't know what it says about me, if I'm able to love deeply and easily, or if I'm selfish, needy.
[ She knows based on what others have said that it's likely if she ever does leave Abraxas, she won't remember her time here, won't have any knowledge of it, and will go right back to floating in the to the middle of the ocean none the wiser. She also knows Jamie could theoretically arrive tomorrow, but she's already done a sort of waiting, for two decades, and she can't go through it again, always wanting for something, always aching. ]
I understand if this is too much, Jon, I do. If nothing else, I would like to at least be a friend to you.
[ A friend who still remembers canvassing the man in front of her with hands and mouth, things which she will absolutely not allow herself to think about now. ]
And...I'm sorry.
[ Because now she thinks it's worth saying again, after all she's mentioned. ]