[ Claire waves a hand dismissively at his trailing off sentence, sitting and running a hand over her forehead distractedly. ]
I know, it’s alright. I don’t think I’m short anyone willing to help, but I’ll make a list if you’re really alright with it, of supplies I might need.
[ She’s quiet. It feels like there’s an ocean between them, and where the answer should be simple, it isn’t. ]
You know me more intimately than anyone in Abraxas. Everything about my heart, my character. You know fears and worries, all of that was real Jon. What you don’t know is what I was forced to forget, but I’ll tell you anything you want. It involves time travel, I’ve been pulled to another time before.
[ She doesn’t want him to think she’s hiding anything, and her gaze settles on his. ]
The Singularity gave us one another for centuries, and I haven’t had even a handful of years with Jamie. He’s the father of my children and I do love him, deeply.
[ Claire’s voice is shaking, the knot of guilt unfurling. ]
For two decades I grieved for Jamie, a shell of myself. I got him back, I had him for less than two years, and then I was here. It’s been a year since my arrival, and at first I thought…well, I thought I would be that same half-alive person without him. But then I wasn’t. I made friends here, I created a small family for myself, and I realized I was happy. Making choices solely for myself, building connections, realizing my happiness didn’t depend on being reunited with Jamie.
[ She heaves out a breath, realizing she might as well finish so she can stop talking. ]
Before all of this, I’d already started missing having someone not only in my bed, but someone who knew the deeper parts of me. Everything that matters when you let someone into your heart.
[ Then she had it, and now she doesn’t want to let go. She understands that she has to, and she assumes these are final words. She’ll have to think later about what sort of person she is for wanting all of this, if she’s always been selfish. ]
no subject
I know, it’s alright. I don’t think I’m short anyone willing to help, but I’ll make a list if you’re really alright with it, of supplies I might need.
[ She’s quiet. It feels like there’s an ocean between them, and where the answer should be simple, it isn’t. ]
You know me more intimately than anyone in Abraxas. Everything about my heart, my character. You know fears and worries, all of that was real Jon. What you don’t know is what I was forced to forget, but I’ll tell you anything you want. It involves time travel, I’ve been pulled to another time before.
[ She doesn’t want him to think she’s hiding anything, and her gaze settles on his. ]
The Singularity gave us one another for centuries, and I haven’t had even a handful of years with Jamie. He’s the father of my children and I do love him, deeply.
[ Claire’s voice is shaking, the knot of guilt unfurling. ]
For two decades I grieved for Jamie, a shell of myself. I got him back, I had him for less than two years, and then I was here. It’s been a year since my arrival, and at first I thought…well, I thought I would be that same half-alive person without him. But then I wasn’t. I made friends here, I created a small family for myself, and I realized I was happy. Making choices solely for myself, building connections, realizing my happiness didn’t depend on being reunited with Jamie.
[ She heaves out a breath, realizing she might as well finish so she can stop talking. ]
Before all of this, I’d already started missing having someone not only in my bed, but someone who knew the deeper parts of me. Everything that matters when you let someone into your heart.
[ Then she had it, and now she doesn’t want to let go. She understands that she has to, and she assumes these are final words. She’ll have to think later about what sort of person she is for wanting all of this, if she’s always been selfish. ]